Black Out
by MysticFalls Fanfiction
Summary: Periods of Elena's days she can't make sense of or remember. After waking up with blood on her hands, she realizes something is terribly wrong. She soon realizes she has an alter ego, a deadly one. Through the mist of it all, she finds comfort in a new friend Damon. Together they try to solve the mystery of her black outs and fight to stop her murderous side.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This story isn't going to be like the rest that I have written. It's not the usual dark romance or even very romantic for that matter. Black Out is going to be a thriller with mystery, drama, and very little romance. Hope I don't disappoint to many of you, but I really liked the idea and it's going to be intense. Thank you for considering this story and reading it. Please leave me a review with what you think.**

**Chapter 1. **

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4:44 a.m.

Shooting straight up in the dead of night, her body trembled. The heavy pressure on her chest made her feel suffocated, while her body shook violently with no explanation. The same three numbers flashed at her from the nightstand. Only shades of black surrounded her and she rapidly scanned her room for any signs of trouble. _It happened again_.

Her staggered breaths were lost in the night. The beads of sweat formed below her hairline. Foreign feelings of the unknown crept along her skin. She always woke as if she didn't know where or whom she was to only find moments later she was fine.

The dreams were becoming more intense.

Strange vicious images flickered like a lighter and overpowering emotions took control. With no reason for this particular occurrence, she could not explain it. Every few nights she dreamt like this and woke up exactly the same.

She tried to avoid eating past eight o'clock and she made sure she got a healthy amount of rest at night while during the day she stayed active. Even to the extreme measures, she had sought medical help, but nothing erratic came up. She was normal, yet with the way she felt right now, she didn't feel close to normal at all. No matter what she did to prevent this from happening, it only got worse.

The nights she didn't wake from a crazed dream and quivering with fear were good nights in her book, literally. In the top drawer of her nightstand she kept a tiny hard cover journal. The idea came to her after the second week she had the reoccurring thoughts and images as she slept. Each night when she awoke she recorded the time, date, and what she could remember. For the nights left untouched by the madness, she wrote those down too. The good and the bad made it on to the pages with her scribbled handwriting. Sometimes it made sense, while most it didn't. Closing her eyes she pictured what she would write.

_Dear Diary,_

_It happened again tonight. I woke up at exactly 4:44 a.m. My body was shaking. My throat felt dry and as if it was going to close on me. I'm scared that one time I won't be able to breathe, that my throat will close up or my lungs will give out. What is going on? _

_The strange images were back and they were different this time though. I still saw the trees and the lake. The moon was full and the small cabin was there like it always is. But something else happened. I saw a dark figure. I've never seen that before. And when I saw it, it made me so mad. It made me the angriest I've ever felt. Then there were noises and I felt like my body was dancing. My arms were moving mostly, but the rest of my body moved along with it. The most menacing laugh came and I believe it was coming from me. It didn't even sound like me, but I think it was. I don't know what to think of the whole thing especially with the new images and how it made me feel, but I definitely don't like it. I want this to all stop, but I don't know how._

_Please help me. I can't take this much longer. Each time it happens it gets more intense and worse. I don't feel like myself and when I wake it's taking longer to understand who I am._

_I don't know how I'm supposed to be normal anymore. My friends are even worried. They think I'm abusing some drug or they think I'm losing my mind. I don't like the way they talk about me about behind back or the judging looks they give. I want this to all stop. I want them to stop._

_Somehow I have to figure this out. I can't go on like this forever. There has to be an explanation. It's been going on for a month now and I'm afraid if I don't figure it out, I'm going to do something terrible. Something I cannot even fathom to say at the moment._

_All right, now I'm rambling and letting my dark thoughts get to me. Thank you dear journal for letting me share what I can't in person. This is the only place I can be free with what is going on._

- _Friday April 4__th__, 2013 4:44 a.m._

The words were scribbled down on the pages. She didn't even remember actually reaching for her journal, but it had happened. The disturbance still fogged her mind and she needed to clear it. Tossing her journal back in the drawer, she moved toward the bathroom. She wondered if what she wrote would even make sense later as she had done it in the dark. No time for light when you had those precious moments of clarity of what you just dreamt and in fear of losing them. Elena shook her head.

In the bathroom, she pushed the switch up so the light barely faded on. The brightness of the bulb would be too much for her tired and sensitive eyes. Having diming lights installed was a plus right now.

She turned on the faucet letting the cool water trickle on the backside of her hands. Turning them over, she cupped the water and splashed it upon her face. It felt refreshing. She let out a much needed sigh. As she reached for a towel, she noticed something odd. Her usual white linen towels were stained and marked with something disgusting. Staring at it, she became puzzled. Her hand reached for the light switch and turned it on all the way up. Instantly, the towel fell from her hand.

Red, dark red stains colored the white towel. Elena looked at her hands and saw the faint pinkish red upon them too. Her body spun around to find more traces of the color scattered throughout her bathroom. Drops were around the sink. Her clothes had blotches now turning into a maroon shade. The floor was covered in brown footprints mixed with the same red that was everywhere else. Her body began to tremble again.

The neutral color surrounding her could not be mistaken. It was blood.

But was it hers?

She quickly checked for any scratches or cuts. Nothing. Not a single mark was left on her body and nothing big enough could have caused this much blood. If it wasn't hers, then who was it?

Running back out to her bedroom, she turned on the lights to find that the trail continued out there. Her bed was stained in small spots from where she slept. A path of footprints carefully pacing around the floor could be seen as well. She ran to her nightstand to find her journal smudged with red on the binding and on the pages she had just written on

What the hell was this?

Her first instinct was to call the cops. But how would she explain it? She didn't remember anything all. She didn't know how she had someone else's blood on her hands and on everything she owned. If anything, calling the cops was a bad idea.

She was alone in this.

The only other person she could reach out to right now would be her Uncle John. She lived with him as she attended classes at a local college in Mystic Falls, Virginia. With classes ending a few weeks ago and summer break upon her, she had stayed seeing as she had made friends. He didn't mind seeing as he lived alone and had a big house all to himself. In fact, she enjoyed it here, but now as things like this were happening she wasn't sure about it at all. Would this still be going on if she were back home with her parents? She didn't know.

Going to wake her sleeping uncle covered in blood also sounded like a horrible idea. She didn't even know if he was home as he was currently seeing a girl, Isobel and tended to spend his night there. Once again, she reminded herself she was in this alone.

All of this blood had to disappear. The only thing she knew to do was wash it away and to start out with herself. She stripped herself of her clothes and tossed them in the corner. Everything that was stained would have to go. How she was going to explain it to her uncle would be a different story. Right now, she had to focus on cleaning herself.

Not waiting for the water in the shower to warm up, she jumped right in. She scrubbed her palms and her face. Next, were her arms. It took a while before the red turned pink and the pink turned to the color of her skin. She threw her head under the showerhead letting the water soak her. The cold water changed to hot and it was soothing. Her body did not want to move and so she sunk to the ground curling up in a ball. She stared at her hands and she began to cry.

No explanation. No answers ever came from this. What was wrong with her?

The palms of her hands didn't even seem like her own. Traitors in disguise are what they were. She was too scared to even face her own reflection. The girl that would stare back could be something evil and masked as herself. She was losing control. She was losing who she was. She didn't know what to think anymore without wondering if she was becoming crazy. However, there was one thing she did know. The blood on her hands wasn't a coincidence. The awful nightmare wasn't a dream. This was real. She had done something horrible and it wasn't the first time either.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Expect updates from now on to be on Sundays, unless stated otherwise. Full Chapter 1 was posted yesterday. You guys did not receive an e-mail alert because I edited Chapter 1 instead of re-uploading it, sorry. Please go check it out and leave a review along with one for this chapter as well. I want to know what you guys think honestly. Thank you for reading always. **

**Chapter 2.**

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_Friday April 4__th__, 2013 3:00 p.m._

The summer season was in full effect. The town that usually bustled with college kids on a Friday afternoon was quiet and peaceful. Those who stayed or resided were slowly making their way to downtown Mystic Falls to begin the events of the night, usually involving drinking. Her participation in these games use to be fun, until the nightmares began and drinking only sounded like it would make things worse. So instead, as the early order of beers and tequila shots began, she sipped on her coffee and kept to herself.

Her favorite spot was the Mystic Grill. The outdoor patio was her usual occupancy sitting at a small table for two in the far corner, where she could view the entire square and people watch. It was something she considered relaxing and fun, not to mention safe. Nowadays, safe was key. She never felt safe anymore even during the day when she felt the most awake and alive.

"Elena!" The voice of her best friend called from the street. Her hand waved in the air as she carried two large black bags in the other. She skipped over toward her and weaved through the tables to finally join her. "Ugh, coffee again? And at this time."

"I need it Care." She spoke with her lips just grazing the cup. "I didn't sleep well again."

"Again? You really should go get help." Caroline, her best friend of a year now sat down opposite of her.

"I did and nothing came up. I'm perfectly normal the doctor said." Elena remarked. Even she didn't believe that. She felt anything but normal. "I'm messed up." She sipped her coffee.

Caroline sighed. "You are not messed up. You just have sleeping issues. A lot of people do."

Glancing up at her from her coffee that was raised to her mouth, she took a moment. She wanted to tell her that even though most people had issues involving strange sleeping patterns, hers took the cake. Her problems were beyond sleep. She had new issues now to face. Her bloody incident had left her in a state of confusion and shock. However, she couldn't share that with her without deeply concerning Caroline.

"You weren't like this when we first met." She made notice. Caroline rustled through her purse. "What do you think is causing it?"

"I don't know." Elena sighed.

"Well, take my advice. You probably need to get laid." Her choice of words or even advice was never subtle. Caroline was very much bold and beautiful. In a moment of crisis concerning boys, beauty, and sex, she was the person you ran to. "Here," she removed concealer and a stick of massacre from her bag. "Apply these. You have a date in an hour and I can't have you looking like the walking dead."

Her date, she had completely forgot about it. Caroline had been pushing her to find someone, anyone, so she wasn't always the third wheel when she brought around a guy. After many nagging hours and long conversations, she had finally obliged to be set up. It was her biggest regret. Knowing Caroline she would make her meet some preppy, frat boy with muscles the size of trucks. And not that she didn't appreciate good-looking guys, she just wasn't looking for anyone at all. With her head so mixed up, dating was the last thing on her mind. But to Caroline it meant everything, so she just rolled with it.

"Finish that coffee and lets go to the bathroom to fix you up. No offense, but you look like hell." She stated.

"Thanks, Caroline." Elena perked up with her words and the coffee. "You always know how to make someone feel good about themselves."

"Oh, come on. You know what I mean. Let's go." She grabbed her hand. Elena took the final sip hoping it would do the trick and followed her to the bathroom.

Loud yelling from the bar caught her attention. She hoped none of those soon to be intoxicated men hovering around the bar were the ones she would be meeting tonight. Dealing with drunks was low on her list as well. A strong tug came from Caroline as they dashed into the bathroom and she grabbed hold of her.

"Sit." She demanded as Elena hopped up on to the counter. Digging through her magical bag of accessories, she tried not to be irritated with her. Caroline cared about her and she was only doing this from the bottom of her heart even if down the line it was torture for her to go through with this.

"So, what's his name? This guy that I'm meeting." Elena asked closing her eyes as Caroline painted her with makeup.

"His name is Alaric. He's a few years older." Her voice was giddy as she explained. "He's a graduate assistant right now for Mr. Honeycutt's class. You'll love him."

"Wait, I can't go out with him." She insisted and pried her eyes open. "I took Mr. Honeycutt's class. In fact, this Alaric guy even taught a few lectures for him when he was absent. You can't set me up with one of my superiors."

"Too late." Caroline sang and forced her to close her eyes again. "He's coming and you're not even in his class anymore. What difference does it make?"

Elena moaned. "It's just weird. Are you done?"

"Yes."

Shutting her eyes for long periods of times made her uneasy. She was afraid she would slip into her spiraling nightmares without having a choice. The images of last night were still attached to her mind. Usually her memory would fade leaving the small layers of fear behind. But last night was as clear as the night sky. Not only her dream, but also the aftermath sat heavy in her stomach. The scattered blood, not her own, still stained her bathroom. She managed to get rid of the traces in her room, but the bathroom had been left untouched. Her hands were already dry and cracked from rubbing the spots on her carpet away.

"Not on me! Stall now!" Caroline yelled pointing her finger to the stall. She must have saw how white her face got as she thought of the blood and the queasy effect that was taking over her. Elena hopped off the counter and leaned over the toilet. "Feel better?" She asked as she emptied her stomach into the toilet.

"I think so." Elena said holding her stomach and standing up. "Sorry."

"Breath mint? Have four." Caroline dumped Tic Tacs into her hand. "What is going on? Why did you get sick?"

"I don't know. It must have been the coffee on an empty stomach." Elena lied. It was partially true, but she knew what had stimulated her becoming sick.

"You're fine now though? No more?" She asked looking at her and keeping her distance.

"I think so." Her voice was a little shaky.

"Good because you're not backing out of this. Here," she said pulling out a low cut shirt and skinny jeans that looked a size too small. "Put this on. You have to anyways since your clothes stink of vomit."

"I didn't even get any on me." Elena snapped.

"Don't care. Do it!" Caroline could be so persistent sometimes.

Ten minutes later, she stepped out of the stall in her slightly revealing top and the very tight jeans. This wasn't her. This was Caroline's version of her. She hated wearing stuff like this. It made her look like a cheap whore in her opinion. Maybe that's what this Alaric guy was looking for and despite her appearance that's as much as he was going to get from her. Elena had no intentions of going home with him or any guy for that matter.

"One last touch up." The peppy voice squeaked and she was dabbing God knows what on her face. "Perfect." Slapping her ass playfully, she smirked. "Now go get him."

Elena rolled her eyes and exited the bathroom. She nervously looked around knowing people would stare at her transformation. A simple, plain looking girl went in and now a glammed up, miniature Barbie doll came out. Was this night over yet?

Walking over to a table near the door, she waited. At least she knew what the guy looked like instead wondering if every guy walking through the door would be her mystery man. She sat down on the stool and ordered water. Twenty minutes passed as she waited. Caroline had left in the short time to ditch her bags and went straight for the bar. She winked at her and gave her an encouraging smile.

Thirty minutes had passed and still no sign of Alaric. Maybe he was standing her up. Most girls would be heartbroken or sad by this, but she was seeing light at the end of the tunnel. Soon she could leave and go home, if that's where she even wanted to go right now. Home didn't see very safe either. That's where the nightmares took place and the crime scene was still preserved.

Keeping this from everyone including the cops, her Uncle John, and Caroline was the biggest secret she ever kept. She had to do this alone though.

"Excuse me, are you Elena? Elena Gilbert?" The deep voice belonging to the rustled dark haired man asked. He smiled and she looked at him confused.

"Yes." She answered.

"Damon." He extended his hand. "A friend of Alaric Saltzman, the guy that was suppose to meet you here. He wanted me to tell you that he isn't going to be able to make it."

"Oh," Elena replied. Seeming hurt on the outside, she was jumping with joy on the inside.

"He's really sorry." He apologized, but was quick to swoop in. A dazzling smile swept his face and he sat down opposite of her. "So instead you get me."

"You?" She asked.

"Me. Damon Salvatore." His charm was witty, but she sensed cockiness. "In the flesh. What do you say I buy us some drinks?"

Being completely thrown off by his brash entrance, Elena searched for Caroline or her cue to exit. All she needed was to be honest with him and excuse her from the situation, but she felt frozen. She was at a loss of words and felt trapped. The haunting images of being trapped in her own head, in her own nightmares swarmed her body.

"Whoa there, you okay?" Damon rushed to her side as she swayed a bit in her seat.

"I'm fine." She gathered herself. Across the bar, Caroline surrounded by bulky men was distracted and doing shots. There was no chance she was coming over to save her.

"How about another water? Waitress." He called and quickly a full glass of water was sitting in front of her again. "Look, maybe you should get some rest. You don't look good."

"I'm fine." She barked. Immediately, she realized her tone. His last remark had annoyed her. After all the work Caroline had done on her, it was still plain to see she was a mess. Even him, a stranger noticed. Feeling embarrassed, she was quick to apologize. "Sorry."

"No offense, but you look exhausted. I get it if you want to leave. I came here to cover for a friend and when I saw you I thought I give it shot." Damon explained shrugging his shoulders.

"A shot? What is that suppose to me?" Elena questioned him.

He shrugged his shoulders again. "I mean, I think you're attractive and I wasn't going to let you walk away off into the night without getting to know you. It's his loss that he couldn't make it and my gain that I'm here." He told her. "But I'll let you be on your way since clearly that's where your head is at."

On the exterior, he was rough around the edges. He wore a leather coat and dark jeans. His five o'clock shadow was embarking upon his chin. Blue eyes stole his appearance as she easily stared at them with amazement. But once he began to talk, he wasn't so rough at all. She sensed a cocky vibe from him, as he knew he was attractive too, but something was calming about him.

"No! No, I'm sorry. I'm being rude." Elena tried to reprimand herself. She couldn't be bogged down by her fears. Going home would only bring on the anxiety of the truth. By staying here in the dim lit bar with a man she barely knew would be a good distraction. Maybe she would even have fun. "I want to be here and thank you."

His body loosened up and he waved the waitress back over to order himself a drink. Getting a glass of Jack and Coke, he didn't take long to finish it off. He looked like a lush. He also was pretty damn attractive too. Something sparked in her. This was a good thing. This was positive. She was being positive and she knew she would have to jot this moment down in her journal later. Even the good things went in there along with the bad.

"If I was Alaric right now, what would you be telling me?" He licked his lips and leaned forward.

Elena bit her lower lip and thought about what she would say. "Nice to meet you and then I probably go into a boring bit about myself." She honestly stated. He snickered and continued to watch her with his blue stare. "Um, and those things would be I'm 22 years old. I live with my uncle while I go to school here. I'm about to graduate in a year, and…"

The next bit she felt sitting on the tip of her tongue was the urge to admit to her psychotic breaks, but she bit down on it. Why she wanted to admit to this was bizarre? Normally, you don't introduce yourself as a crazy person. Most people learned that along the way.

"And my friend set me up on this date because she thinks my life doesn't have enough excitement in it." She ended her rant and raised her glass of water. The caffeine from the non-existing coffee that once sat in her empty stomach was kicking in. Elena laughed to herself as she thought of Caroline's other reasons for why she was on this date, but she wasn't about share that either. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"That's a bit harsh. Such a nice friend you have there." He mentioned.

"She is quite something, Caroline." She replied.

"You're friends with Caroline, Caroline Forbes?" Damon asked looking stunned.

"Yes." Elena answered warily. "Is that a problem?"

"Please don't take this wrong, but that bitch is crazy." He blurted out. "She really messed up one of my buddies."

Caroline was crazy and had the bitch factor, but hearing it from some random guy didn't sit well. Any interest she had for him was out the door like a lightning bolt. She sat up straight and glanced over at her now boozy friend.

"She is a bit boy crazy, but I don't appreciate the bitch part. She is my friend, in fact, my best friend. And as uptight and obnoxious as she is, I still stand up for her." She informed him.

His eyebrow raised and he smirked again. "I retract my statement, the bitch part that is. However, I have to say you being her friend and all, you have nothing but kind words for her." He mocked her statement. A statement that was meant to back Caroline up, but came off more as venting.

"Best friends can do things like that. Random guys can't." She quickly saved herself.

"Like I said, I retract it. Truce?" Damon extended his hand again. Taking a moment whether she should shake it or not, she finally did. He was really trying and she saw that. Whatever had him so intrigued about her she didn't know? She honestly wasn't that fascinating unless you knew about her secret journal that told the truths about her mental and emotional state, not to mention the unknown blood that had shown up on her hands the night before. Then she would understand.

"How about you just tell me about yourself?" She suggested.

Looking happy to share, he began. "I'm 26 years old. Done with the whole school thing. Forever destined to live in Mystic Falls and currently unemployed. However, I am living off my dead grandparent's trust fund pretty well." He smirked.

And the cocky side was back.

"Kidding." He sang. "Had you there for a second. I didn't lie about my age or being done with school. I'm way done with that shit. And the part about destined to live in Mystic Falls might be right on, but I do have a job. I'm working at the Psychiatrics office. You are looking at a Ph.D., my dear."

He had her at psychiatrics. The way he dressed and the way he acted didn't scream doctor to her, but then again who was she to judge a book by its cover. Her heart raced at the thought of possibly finding someone who could dig into her mangled mind and discover why she was so messed up. However, that wasn't first date material. She couldn't just ask to have him examine her like that. It was too strange. Instead, she nodded her head and pretended to be impressed by his Ph.D. bit.

Elena leaned forward and was ready to ask him about his line of work when something on the television caught her eye. The local news was reporting a breaking story coming straight from the scene. A young reporter carefully spoke, as the titles below displayed what couldn't be heard. The news story read, _Man Found Dead In His Home_. A line of trees and the glistening lake of Mystic Falls were her backdrop. Off to the right as the camera panned, a cabin sat as men in jackets lined it with yellow tape. Medical and police vehicles surrounded it. The image flashed a photo of a middle aged black man named, Conner Jordan. Suddenly, she began seeing spots.

"Are you okay, Elena?" Damon asked with concern.

She bowed her head and shook it as she glanced back up at the TV screen up above. The camera was back on the report. The disturbing images were flashing rapidly through her head like a flipbook. The shadow figure was moving toward her and fast. Then he was down on the ground and her body was doing the dancing motions again. Quickly, she tried to shake the mental images away, but as she returned back to Damon something made her feel sick again.

The blood. The woods. The dead man. This was all too convenient. Could it be? Was it even possible? Elena didn't know what to think, all she felt was the bile rising in her throat. She flew from the table and out the front door of the bar as it came up and on to the pavement. Heaving and breathing as thick air sunk into her lungs, she panicked. Her legs were moving before she could obey them too. She was heading for her house. She knew what she had to do. She had to write. She had to get her revelation down on paper before it was gone.

She had killed that man.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Updates will be on Sundays only. I know the last chapter was off schedule, but I wanted to post it early. Fifty Shades Bloodier will still be updated as well. I know sometimes people freak out and think because I start a new story I won't update my others ones. I will, trust me. Hope you guys are enjoying this story. I like that its not centered around romance. Please leave me a review with what you think. Thanks for reading as always.**

**Chapter 3.**

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_Saturday April 5__th__, 2013 10:00 a.m._

_Dear Diary, _

_I know it hasn't been long since I've visited, but I feel the urge to write. I still can't get over what I did or I think I did. I don't even know how it's possible. As you already know, I'm losing my mind here._

_Conner Jordan. Oh geez, if anyone ever finds this thing I'm screwed. It's key evidence, but right now I don't care. If what I believe, and that is I had something to do with that man's death, I swear on my life that I didn't mean to. Some how I don't remember doing it, but I do remember bits and pieces. Not the actual murder. Yes, I have accepted my dreams to be reality now. It only makes sense. It's adding up. How else can I explain them?_

_That's not the reason why I'm writing though. I've already shared that I'm completely crazy and blacking out in my previous entry. That's the term I'm using for now since I don't know how else to describe it. The fact that I wake up at the same time and can't explain myself or my actions means I have to be blacking out, right? Anyways, like I said, this isn't why I'm writing._

_Yesterday, I met Damon. I wasn't supposed to meet him, but I did and I think its fate. Not in a romantic type of way. He's gorgeous and all, but he is also a doctor. He's the kind of doctor that can tell you if you are crazy or not. And boy do I want to know that. However, I don't' know how to go about doing that. I can't come out and tell him something like that. He really will think I'm crazy and maybe I am, but that's beside the point. I just want a professional opinion, anything that can help me now. I've done my fair share of research to know I'm borderline schizophrenic or something. I don't know. Maybe Damon can clarify that, but I can't ask him yet._

_Caroline, the matchmaker, found out about our meeting the other night. I guess she was pretty upset with Alaric and isn't too fond of Damon, but gave him my number anyways. He texted me asking if I would give him a second chance even considering I ran out on him. I was sure that was the number one way to not get a second date, but I guess it didn't work. He wants to see me again! And normally as a girl I should be excited that an attractive guy, who seems to be well off wants to see me, but that isn't the case. I mean, I am excited, but I really just want to talk to him. I want to ask him what he deals with, what he knows, maybe beat around the bush a bit about my condition. This is my chance to do so. I hope I don't lead him on too much. I can tell he likes me and I guess I like him too. Ugh, boys. Not my department. Crazy, yes that's my department. _

_To wrap this up, I'm meeting him in a few hours to grab lunch. I'll let you know how it goes and update you on my crazy train trips._

- _Saturday, April 5__th__, 2012 10:00 a.m._

Shutting her diary, she fell back on her bed. The fact that he called it a date, a second one in fact made her cringe. She hadn't been on date in years and now she was going on her second one. Couldn't be just a meeting of blossoming friends? She liked that much better.

The sound of the front door closing indicated that her Uncle John had left. He had come home last night. Few words were exchanged and she was fine with that. The last thing she needed was a break down of her day. She kept her bedroom door shut when he was around. Him lurking into her room wouldn't be usual, but when you have something to hide is when everyone seems to barge on in. The bathroom was still a mess and she knew the longer it sat the harder it would be to clean. Now she had the time to, but she couldn't find the motivation. Instead, she lied down on her bed and stared up at her ceiling.

She felt her eyes falling heavy. A brewing pot of coffee had kept her awake all night and she was proud to say she hadn't had a black out. The clock struck 4:44 a.m. and her body was calm. It wasn't healthy what she was doing and now she was exhausted from staying up all night, but she was proving a point. The chances of her slipping away were possible, but the sun was shining and things were sort of looking up if she didn't think about the fact that she might have killed Conner Jordan. Her falling asleep could be innocent. And so she did.

Her eyes shot open and she rolled over to look at her clock. It was noon. She would be meeting Damon for lunch in thirty minutes. Hoping out of bed, she walked over to closet and paused. She looked back at her bed and then the clock again. Examining her hands and her body, nothing seemed to be wrong. In fact, she felt good. No nightmares. No black outs. No mysterious blood. The first genuine smile of happiness grew upon her face. Maybe all it took was accepting what was going on to make it better, even though accepting this dark side wasn't easy.

She flicked through her selection of clothes with an upbeat attitude. Her motto for today was: Be positive and everything will be good. The smile grew bigger on her face and she was excited for her date. Things were looking up.

* * *

Violent vibrations came from her nightstand. Elena abruptly rose from the end of her bed and gasped for air. She held her hands to her chest as it constricted and she scrambled to make sense of her surroundings.

"No." She whispered. Then louder she said it again, "No!"

Her hands trembled like they always did. The foggy state was floating in her head as is slowly diminished. Her eyes scanned her room looking for that invisible force of trouble that lingered. It had happened again. But how?

_4:44 p.m._ Her heart sunk as far as it could go. The hairs on her arms and on the back on her neck stood straight up like a magnet was attracting them. A cold chill swept across her body making her shiver.

"No." She cried.

How did she end up on her bed? How did she black out? The last thing she remembered was standing by her closet looking for something to wear and the next she was here. Hours had passed and the phone on her nightstand that buzzed with great force made her jump. Approximately seven missed calls from Caroline and ten text message of "Where are you?, "Are you okay", and "You are worrying me. Damon called.", were on her phone. Not to mention the five missed calls and five text messages that varied with the same concern from Damon.

Whatever made her blackout had made her miss her date. This would ruin her chances with ever getting closer to Damon. She didn't care if he was mad at her; she was more worried about learning more about herself through him. He was destined to help her she knew it. Deep down she knew it was a sign from above to get her through this, but instead the signs from below were messing it up. The dark devil had other plans.

Elena rushed to the bathroom in fear that more blood would be found. The same amount stained the countertop, the sink, the floors, and even the shower. She checked herself of any inflictions and there weren't any. Overall, she was physically fine, but could she say the same for someone else. Panic set in again.

Back out in her bedroom, she picked up her phone again looking through the texts. No signs showing of any threats that she had caused pain on her end. The fear that she had gone into her black out rage and had done something to Damon or Caroline made her feel sick again. They were fine, but that didn't mean someone else wasn't. She didn't know how she would know for sure if she had tried to murder again, if she was capable of that. Convincing herself she still had a part in Conner Jordan's death, she couldn't be for certain that she was one that did it. She had no murder weapon, none that she knew about. Maybe she should search her room or her house just in case. But what use would that do besides confirm what she already suspected? The thought of turning herself in was beginning to sound plausible. At least then she couldn't do anymore harm.

"Stop it!" She cursed out loud.

This was getting out of hand. Anger rose to her cheeks. She found her journal and flipped the pages with rage. Her urge to vent was like vomit. It had to get out before it made her feel worse. The pen that normally sat next to the journal wasn't there though. She rattled her hand in the drawer and it was nowhere to be found. That was odd. It always sat next to her journal. Had she misplaced it from earlier? Then as she looked up she saw it lying on the ground by her dresser. She walked over to it and picked it up. The direction it was pointed in was intentional.

Then and there she nearly broke down. On her dresser was a hand mirror and something was taped to it. She slowly took it off the top of her dresser and picked it up. The mirror side was face down, but the piece of paper on top was blatant. It looked like a page from her diary had been ripped out and folded up. She folded down the page and read the words scribbled in her handwriting.

_You can't hide who you really are._

It would have been chilling enough to read the phrase as it was. But the words weren't written in ink. They were written in blood; blood belonging to her next victim.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Sorry I skipped a week with updating. I had a lot going on and couldn't find time to get it up last week. Reminder that updates for this story will only be posted on Sundays unless I decided otherwise. Thanks for the reviews and feedback so far. Wasn't too sure about whether people would like it or not, but it seems to be going over well. Thanks for reading as always and please do leave a review for this chapter or the story overall. Thanks : ) **

**Chapter 4.**

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_Sunday April 6__th__, 6:00 a.m._

It was official. She couldn't sleep. She didn't want to. The thought of slipping into her dark side had her utterly terrified. And what scared her more was she had no control of when she did. Being tired didn't trigger it. Sleeping wasn't always the case. And 4:44 a.m. wasn't the only time she blacked out. She was doing it during the day now and she didn't know where to go for safety. Did it matter though? If her alter ego wanted to get out and play it would without permission.

Curled up into a ball on her bed with her blankets wrapped chaotically around her shaking body, Elena stared at the mirror with the note on the ground. _You can't hide who you really are_, the note read. Chills danced down her spine rapidly at the thought of it.

Who was she?

The answer to that was unknown. All her life she knew exactly who she was with the minor inflictions of confusion as she grew up, but now she was lost. Not remembering most of anything left with the biggest question being why.

With no family history of these kinds of things, she wondered where it all went wrong. The black outs had come on so fast and without warning it was driving her crazy wondering why they were happening at all. It was one thing to black out, but to kill while doing it was another. She never had tendencies to wish death upon anyone, even when her limits were pushed. The fact she was capable, yet not proven to murder was making her question her character even more.

Her phone buried somewhere on her bed buzzed and vibrated violently. Elena continued to ignore it fearing the worse. It would be only time before the cops would be pounding on her door with guns pointed and handcuffs ready to take her away. This thought she had contemplated quite a bit. Maybe being locked up would do her good and others, but she was horrified by the thought at the same time. Jail, conviction, pleading guilty was never how she pictured her future to turn out. She wasn't someone to act upon violence. She cared for the littlest things in life. But now, she didn't know what or who she really was. Her hands rose to her hair and tugged on the roots wanting this awful feeling to go away.

_You can't hide who you really are._

Those words taunted her to no end.

She wished her alter ego would have fessed up by now and come forward, but it wasn't that simple. How could she ever confront this dark side of herself? She needed help.

Running her hands through her messy hair and down her tired face, she threw the blankets off her wildly. Her feet slammed to the ground and she stomped over to the mirror. With the note still attached to the reflective side, she hurled it across the room letting shards of glass fall everywhere. She was so angered by all of this it was the only way to release some of it. Maybe by doing so it would give a signal to her dark side that she was not willing to cooperate. She could only hope.

By shattering the message, she knew she still had much more to worry about. The message was written in blood, but who's? Terrified thinking it was of whom her next victim might be, the phone on her bed vibrated again. Elena continued to ignore it.

The clock on her nightstand read 6:25 a.m. It was in the early hours of Sunday morning. She had not dared to get an ounce of sleep fearing she would slip into her demented scary state. However, sleep wasn't her enemy anymore. She could easily lose control and become the person she loathed without knowing. Thoughts of writing in her journal sparked, but she did not want to write down anything at the moment. Her mind was too messed up.

Her feet directed her toward the bathroom. With the door being still closed, she opened it slowly preparing for what was on the other side. Flicking the light on, the dark red stains mocked her. Everywhere she looked she could not escape what had started it all, the fear of knowing she was a murderer. The longer it sat the harder it would be to get rid of, she knew that. But Elena could not bear to get down on her hands and knees and scrub away the crime scene. It had to be done with it being the biggest evidence against her; however, something inside of her could not succumb to the cleansing act. Her eyes fell on the large spot in the middle of the floor, the pool of dried blood. Rising from her stomach and through her throat, she felt vomit coming up. Luckily, she found the toilet just in time. Her body heaved as she rejected the liquid and food inside her stomach. Once she no longer had anything else to get rid of, she flushed the toilet and rested her head on the seat.

She could not live like this.

Suddenly, the sound of the doorbell rang. It startled her so bad she slid off the toilet and bumped her head on the wall.

"Ow!" Elena screeched as she rubbed the now sore spot.

The doorbell rang again and as she stepped out into her bedroom, she paused. Anxiety consumed her as she froze and wondered who was outside her home. Was it the police? Or maybe it was her Uncle John, who had left his keys at home needing to get in? Or was it someone entirely unexpected? Elena pressed her hand to her chest to calm her breathing.

Violent buzzing frightened her as it only came seconds later after the second doorbell rang. She flew toward her bed and rustled through her sheets to find her phone. Whoever was trying to reach her must have been desperate and even if she had to lie and tell them she was fine. She did not want them marathon dialing her again.

"Hello," she answered and falling on her bed.

"Elena?!" The voice of man came from the other end.

"Um, yes. Who is this?" Elena asked. She had not looked at the caller ID.

"It's Damon from the other night at the bar." He replied. "Caroline gave me your number. We were supposed to meet yesterday and you never showed."

"Oh," Elena answered.

"Look I get you don't want to see me or you're not interested, but Caroline is worried. She can't get a hold of you." Damon told her.

"I'm fine." She lied quickly. Her heart was still racing as she looked around her room in panic.

"Okay," he responded with hesitation in his voice. "Uh, she actually sent me over to your house. I don't know if you are home? I know it is almost 7 a.m. She just wanted to make sure you're okay, but couldn't…"

His voice trailed as she figured out the alarming puzzle pieces. All the calls and now the persistent doorbell ring had been him. Damon was the one standing outside her house. "Oh its you outside." She said thinking out loud. Immediately, she wanted to retract her outward thought.

He was a conflicting factor in all of this. Despite Damon's remarkable handsome appearance and charming personality border lining with sarcasm, he was a professional in a field she desperately needed assistance from. Holding her hand over her mouth and wondering what to say next, she listened to the confused silence on the other line.

"I'll just let you go." Damon spoke briskly. "Just doing someone a favor and it seems you are alright."

"Wait!" Elena said in sudden outburst.

It was early and it was complicated her situation, but she didn't want Damon to leave. Maybe if someone surrounded her it would help ease her even if it wouldn't last forever. She needed the company and Damon was providing that, no to mention he was psychiatrist who could pick her brain. How she was going to go about that without giving too much away would be tricky.

Elena hopped off her bed and out of her room. She was at the top of the stairs still with the phone pressed to her ear when she stopped. Quickly, she retreated back to her room and closed the door leaving any evidence of her disaster hidden. Returning to her journey downstairs, she paused at the front door before opening it. When she did, Damon was sitting on the front step of her house.

Both removing their phones from her ears, Elena forced a tired smile on her face. "Sorry, if I would have known who was calling me or at my door I would have answered sooner." She said apologetically.

"I," Damon began and shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know why I listened to Caroline or even care to check up on someone I barely know, but I am. I'm sorry if I woke you or scared you, but you didn't show up to our date yesterday and then Caroline said she couldn't get a hold of you either so…"

"Caroline worries too much. I'm fine, I swear." Elena pretended as if the whole situation was not a big deal. She folded her arms in front of her chest and leaned up against the door. "And I'm sorry about not showing up. I've just been really tired and maybe sick lately. I guess I just fell asleep."

Her excuse sounded lame. She knew Damon deserved the truth, but she could not give it to him without telling him the horror of it all.

"Guess I should have known from date one, if you want to consider it that." He chuckled. "I was hoping I hadn't repulsed you too much and made you run out on me."

"Honestly, this has nothing to do with you." Elena replied hastily.

She smacked her lips together and became instantly shy and bashful. Here was a guy who she had run out on and ditched standing on her doorstep for the sake of her worried friend. Even she wondered why he had agreed to listening to Caroline and caring whether or not she was fine. At her expense, she had wronged him twice, not to mention they barely knew one another at all. Her body perked up as she gazed over him from head to toe.

"Do you want to come in?" She asked.

Was it smart to invite him into her home? Probably not, but she felt awful knowing he put forth the trouble of seeking out her well being and even asking for a second failed date with her. She only felt like it was right.

"I don't want to bother you anymore than I have." Damon responded.

"You're not." Elena said shaking her head and stepping back for him to enter. "I insist. After everything, I like to redeem myself."

Looking wary and down, Damon smirked and stepped into her home. It was just the two of them inside her home seeing as her uncle was gone. He never was around much since he had started dating. At times it was peaceful and others it was eerie to be alone. It was like she had the whole place to herself and under the current circumstances she was glad he was not around. She feared she might hurt him without knowing it.

Once inside, they awkwardly stood in her living room. With the lack of sleep, she felt drowsy and her eyes lids were heavy. She couldn't pass out on him after inviting him in, so she knew of one solution that could perk her up a bit.

"Can I get you some coffee?" Elena asked.

"Sure." He answered.

As they walked into the kitchen, the nagging urge to ask him about his line of work and questions about her mental state were on the tip of her tongue. However, Elena resisted and focused on making a pot of coffee. She let it brew as the smells of morning were in the air. Damon stood by the counter and glanced around.

"You seem like a nice guy." Elena admitted. It wasn't her first choice in conversation starters, but it was what she was thinking.

"And what makes you think that?" He asked.

"I don't know. The fact that you went on a blind date for a friend who couldn't make it, you wanted a second date after I ran out on you, and you're here after all of that. Nice guys do things like that." She rambled.

Damon sighed. "Doing nice things doesn't make you a nice person." He added. "But that being said, I like to think I'm not horrible either."

Elena laughed softly.

"Thank you." She said.

"What for?" Damon seemed puzzled.

"For being nice." Elena replied. "Lately, I've been difficult."

"What can I say, I have a weakness for pretty girls who blow me off." He joked.

Nice and funny, he was becoming more desirable as she stared at him. But it wasn't his personality or even his good looks that had her drawn to him. She was shamelessly attracted to the sort of help and self-discovery he could provide. Elena contemplated how she could ask him about having a split personality.

"Do you like cream in your coffee? Sugar?" She asked as she turned around to the fridge. It wasn't what she wanted to ask, but it just sort of came out. She closed her eyes in frustration and reached in to grab the milk carton.

"I like mine black actually." Damon said from behind her. "Let me help you. Where are the cups?"

"Top left cabinet." She called out.

The coffee pot beeped as it was done brewing. Elena turned around to grab the pot when she froze. He was standing at by the sink with furrowed eyebrows and staring down at it with stern concentration.

"Did you hurt yourself?" He asked suspiciously.

"No." Elena reacted fast as she set the carton of milk down and set over to the sink. Her stomach dropped as she saw the inside of the sink. A bloody rag and knife were carelessly lying in it for anyone to see. The towel was wet and so was the knife. Bloodstains marked the stainless steel sink and dripped down into a drawer next to it.

Being both confused, Elena stepped in front of him and opened the drawer slowly. The drawer that was typically for hand towels had blood in it too. Her eyes flickered back to the knife in the sink and then to the knife block at the end of the counter.

This looked bad, really bad. Her eyes diverted to Damon who appeared in awe at the mess. He glanced her way and she saw the disturbance in his eyes. How was she going to explain this when she didn't even know what happened?


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Posted on Monday instead of Sunday, I'm so sorry about the delay to get this chapter up. My goal is to get one chapter out a week on Sunday for this story. Work, life, family, etc. has been getting in the way of that. I do apologize in advance for any further delays on future chapters. Hope you guys do enjoy this chapter. Things are about to get a bit more intense. Send me your reviews. Thanks for reading as always. **

**Chapter 5.**

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Tiny drops of now dark red blood were scattered near the front of the kitchen drawer. The trail led from it to the sink indicating someone had tried to clean up the mess. To most it appeared as an accidental cut made deep enough to draw blood. To Elena it was much more than any accident. This mini crime scene was meant for her to discover, however it wasn't meant for Damon to see too. Her heart raced as fast as it could go and the palms of her hands became clammy. Her mouth went dry and her anxiety skyrocketed as she tried to figure out what to say.

Damon remained calm, but suspicious as he glanced from her to the blood.

The knife in the sink still stained with someone's blood made her cringe. A million scenarios ran through her head wondering what happened and to whom? She was clear of any cuts, but that didn't mean someone else wasn't.

"Elena?" His voice sounded muffled from a distance even though he was standing inches away from her.

Painful and dark thoughts consumed her as she was stuck in time and in place over the new discovery. Each day was accelerating rapidly into a downward spiral of blacked out periods and leaving her blank and confused. This had just added the icing on top of the cake.

His hand rose up in her peripheral vision to touch, shake, or break her from her trance, but it paused as the clicked noise of the front door swung open. Heavy footsteps followed as the door shut seconds later and they trailed into the kitchen.

"Elena?" The surprised voice belonging to her Uncle John filled the room. Both their attentions were directed to the medium height, handsome man with a bandaged hand. "And…" His voice trailed as he realized she was not alone.

Snapping back to reality, she shook her head and sighed. "Um, Uncle John…this is Damon." She introduced him. With the realization of how bad this situation was escalating, she wished she would black out so she could escape and not remember it.

John's eyes peered at the both of them. He was judging and she could understand why. A lecture was bound to come any moment or soon when Damon was out of reach from him having a man, an older man in his household. As much as her uncle was absent from his own home it still was his and she had to respect his rules.

"Hello." He said toward Damon without much enthusiasm. The mixture of the earlier hours and dislike were apparent. "You're up rather early?"

How could she explain this? Why did she need to explain everything?

Her eyes fell upon the bandage on his hand. The light bulb in her head flicked on and she knew how to divert from his questioning. "Oh my God, what happened to your hand?" Elena asked and rushed over to him.

"You must have misplaced the knife because yesterday while I was home I reached in the drawer to grab a towel and ended up cutting myself pretty bad." John explained. "I called for you because I thought you were home, but when I went upstairs you weren't there."

"Oh." She simply stated.

"I had Isobel come take me to the hospital since I couldn't drive." He sighed. "But I'm alright. Just a few stitches and I should be fine in no time."

The perfectly wrapped white bandage around her hand made her want to sway. She knew she was responsible for his injury. She knew she had been the one to put the knife in the drawer deliberately, but that didn't mean she knew why she did it. Her uncle couldn't possibly be a target for her next move. She wouldn't believe it because it was too hard to imagine.

"Elena…" Damon began clearing his throat.

"Elena," Her uncle intervened. "Can I have a word with you alone actually?"

The tension in the room peaked as he glanced a discerning look Damon's way. Taking the hint, Damon excused himself from the kitchen and out of earshot as her uncle glared at her with disappointment and possible anger. Elena wanted to crawl into a hole knowing she was about to get a full blast of parenting from her uncle. She already knew what he was going to say.

"Damon Salvatore, I see." John raised his eyebrow.

"How do you know his full name? Do you know him?" Elena asked in a rushed whisper.

"It's a small town. I know of him. I don't know him." He informed. "And what I know of him is he is clearly older than you and he is in my house at 6: 30 a.m."

"Uncle John, its not what you think." She tried to redeem herself, however he was on a mission to continue to lecture and judge.

He licked his lips and held up his damaged hand. "I don't care if you date or see someone or do whatever, I get you're grown up now." John said in a slow voice. His tone changed quickly though. "But this is my house and I don't appreciate you housing whomever overnight."

"Damon wasn't…" She started to explain herself and her situation, but he held up his good hand to stop her.

"I don't care what you did or didn't do…with him." He snarled. "What I care about is that he is here and that you should be seeing guys your age."

Until now, her uncle had always emulated the role of the 'cool' uncle. Instead, he was becoming more fatherly than anything else and it was bothering her. The pit of her stomach clenched and a weight sat on her chest. He continued to nag her for her, in his terms, "poor decision making" and "choice in men". Not wanting another moment of his despair, she wished she could let him have it. She wanted to kick and scream and tell him he wasn't her father and he had no right to tell her whom she could see or date. Elena wanted to be the ungrateful niece of his and storm out the front door slamming it shut. She wanted to take the knife that had sliced his hand open and show him what pain felt like.

Quickly, she caught herself. The dark thought had crossed her and she knew in that moment she had to remain calm. Every ounce of her, every drop of blood curdled into heated rage. The urge to suppress it wasn't easy, but she was holding on by a thread as she balled her hands into fists and stared down at the ground trying to tune him out.

He was quick to assume. He didn't know what was going on with her and Damon. Actually, she didn't know what was going on between them either, but did it matter? Whether Damon was the right thing or not for her, he could have answers. He had to with his profession and she wasn't about to lose him because her uncle said so.

Raged with passion for Damon's answers and hate for her uncle's words, Elena felt something dark build inside her.

"Elena, do you understand me?" His voice faded in.

"Huh?" She asked knowing her remark would make him even angrier.

John shook his head and sighed. "Were you even listening to me or was your head in la la land with that guy?" He inquired.

Sharp points and oozing red liquid satisfied her urge to end this predicament. Elena pinched herself to stay focused on the present and the reality of what should be done.

"Yes, sorry." Elena apologized portraying a levelheaded version of herself. "It's just early. I won't do it again."

Praying this was the sort of response he hoped for, John bowed his head and walked over to the coffee maker. He withdrew a disposable cup and poured himself a drink unsteadily with his non-injured hand. As she watched him from behind, she still longed to see him drop to the floor surrounded by his own essence of what flowed through him, blood.

"I'm going to Isobel's place." He told her. "I don't know when I'll be back, but I don't want to see him here when I do. Got it?"

"Got it." She smiled dropping it the moment he could no longer see it.

She waited until he was out the door and the sound of his car starting up to let go of her breath. Letting out all the negative energy, she walked slowly back to the family room. Her eyes danced around the room searching for Damon, but he was nowhere. As she knocked on the bathroom door, she received no answer nor was the light on. Where could he be? Then it hit her. Elena dashed up the stairs to the second floor of the house and spun around. The door to her bedroom was ajar and she raced inside.

"Damon?!" She called out.

Once again, he was nowhere to be seen. Her head turned left and right as she grew anxious of where he could possible be. The smallest noise grabbed her attention when she knew where he had been all along. To her left the bathroom door was open and she nearly crumbled at the thought. He was in there. He had found it. Damon knew. She inched closer and closer to the threshold until she was standing before him shaking as he was trembling at the sight. The dried blood was everywhere. It looked like a scene straight out of a horror movie. If she wasn't going to explain herself truthfully earlier, now she had no choice.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Scold me if you will. I am horrible at keeping this story on schedule for updates. I had put a disclaimer in the Author Notes last time that apologized for any further delays on updates in the future and I will reinstate that. I'll try to be better about it since I do love the plot of this story and I have most of it planned out so I know what to write; the actual writing part if the only obstacle. Anyways, thank you to those who have been following whether you are new or have read my previous stories on here as well. I appreciate all the feedback I get and am looking forward to more. **

**Chapter 6.**

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It was everywhere and the words were nowhere to be found. Elena wanted to blurt out the infamous saying, "I can explain", but knew all too well it was easier said than done. Her mind sent a million tiny swirling dancers into her head, as she could not think straight, while her stomach did turns leaving her ill. The sight of it, the mere odor now forming from not cleansing the mess made her want to hurl. But she did not tremble before him. Her exterior was shocked and shameful, but her interior was a complete disaster. She did not know how she was remaining as calm as she could knowing she had been discovered. The only explanation for this sort of odd behavior for her in a moment of crises was her dark side. It was present, not full, but lingering in the shadows.

"Elena…" Damon's voice faltered as he looked to her for an explanation.

Her mouth went dry and she seemed to had lost her voice as she opened it letting in air and swallowing it whole before she pressed her lips back together. At a loss for any reason to why she had a bathroom covered in blood that wasn't hers was not going to be easy or pleasant. She pictured the horror as she began and Damon fleeing for his life, as he understood the atrocity of her being.

"What…why is this..." He tried to ask, but only failed as he sighed and his eyes grew bigger.

"Damon," Elena finally found the strength to say something, anything to get her started. He glanced up as if he were hanging on to every soundless word she wasn't speaking. She licked her lips and bowed her head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Defeat had set in. She knew of her guilt and her turmoil. Playing out the scene in her head as she raised her hands in the air as two metal circles strapped them together, she bowed her head in shame. It was the only ending she saw in this. Once Damon knew, she was done.

"Try me." Damon uttered.

Did she really want to try and explain it? Could she? It was all very unreal to finally face the darker version of her and the mess she had left behind with someone else present.

Diverting her gaze from him to the blood to her feet, she knew it was the only safe place to look. She crossed her arms uncomfortably and opened her mouth once more. Nothing. Not a single word passed her lips and she closed it with a smack. This was difficult.

"Elena…" His breathless, deep voice came to her sweetly. Her eyes could not help but glance his way as he said her name. The sound of her name coming from him in this instance was natural and pure. Something, whatever it was made her not as scared. Maybe she could do this.

"I have to tell you something." She said softly and wiping her face.

He stood still in the middle of crime scene a waiting for her explanation. A part of her was disgusted, while the other part, the dark part, chuckled and twirled her hair with glee. Why she could sense so clearly her other self reacting this way she wasn't sure. She never had in the past. This was a new revelation.

"I killed someone." Elena admitted as if it wasn't obvious with the dried blood scattered everywhere.

"No, no you didn't." Damon said baffled.

"I killed someone." She repeated.

"You mean this isn't your blood?" He asked now scanning the bathroom horrified.

"I've already told you twice, I killed someone." Elena replied in a snarkier tone than expected. This was her dark self talking. "Of course this isn't _my _blood."

As if he were soaking in the truth of what she had confessed, Damon remained silent. Elena held her breath as she attempted to push away the blunt version of herself that was breaking through. It was one thing to explain, but to do it in a way that could only make matters worse was another.

"And why did you kill someone?" Damon inquired cautiously, but dropping his tone to a soothing pitch.

Elena threw her crossed arms down and felt the Earth crumble beneath her. "I don't know. I don't know." She exclaimed. "I don't even remember doing it."

"Then how do you know you killed someone?" He asked puzzled.

"I just do, okay?!" She yelled.

Every emotion was swarming her as she continued to think out loud and admit to her murderous behavior. Why was he still standing there? Shouldn't he be half way down the street running away from an honest killer? Shouldn't the cops be pulling up to her door ready to arrest her? No. None of this was happening. Instead, Damon stared at her trying to peel back the layers of what he didn't understand.

"Tell me what makes you think that you killed someone." Damon demanded instead of pursuing for an answer.

"Why are you so calm about this? Why aren't you leaving?" Elena asked with a disgusted tone. "I just told you I killed someone and you ask me what makes me think I killed them. I just know!"

"Should I leave? Should I be scared?" He retorted.

His questioning slapped her invisibly. If she was so confident in her ability to kill, what made him any different from being a target? What chance did she have of slipping into her alternate reality of darkness at this very moment without thinking twice? She could feel her stability wavering and the dark version kicking and screaming to come out and play, but she held her ground. He had done nothing to deserve to meet that side of her. In fact, they had only just met. They were two strangers at a stand still discussing a life altering matter that was devastating her as every second passed.

"I don't know." Elena whispered.

"What makes you believe you killed someone?" Damon asked politely and calmly.

Like a steady wave crashing at the shore, she felt herself ease. It was happening again. The trust she was forming for him, the sudden attraction to his unnerved perception to her statements made her want to spill her deep dark secrets and so she did.

"For awhile I've been blacking out. At first, it was subtle and nothing I couldn't handle." Elena spoke delicately with each word. "Then it got worse. I couldn't remember anything and I would wake up panicking. Blurred spurts of my black outs came to me, but they didn't make sense. I wrote them down in a journal so I could remember these key moments. Then this happened."

Her hand gestured to the bloody bathroom.

"I woke up like I usually did at 4:44 a.m. in a cold sweat and unsure of what just happened." She continued. "I jotted down my thoughts and then I went to the bathroom and that's when I saw all of this. I didn't know how it got there and I knew it wasn't mine, but it was everywhere and it still is. I can't…I don't know…"

Elena gulped as she recalled the night she had first met Damon.

"When I was on the, date, with you that's when I knew what I had done. I had killed someone." Her voice quivered. "The news was on behind you and they showed a man was killed out in the woods. They flashed his picture and the crime scene and that's when the blurred memories became clearer. He was killed the same night the blood appeared in my bathroom. I don't remember it, but I did it. I killed that man."

"And that's why you ran out?" Damon tried to fit the puzzle pieces together. "That's why you haven't returned my calls? Because of these black outs?"

"Because everything!" She shouted. "Don't you see?! I'm dangerous. I can't control what I'll do or whom I'll try to hurt next. It could be anyone, anywhere, anytime."

"And do you want to hurt me?" He continued to pick her apart.

"I don't know!" Elena responded. "I don't know anything. All I know is I killed that man."

"I see." Damon stated.

Rolling her eyes, she could not understand his calm and collected nature. It was beginning to irritate her as he nodded his head and quietly thought to himself before speaking. Amongst the red and the DNA of some innocent soul now splattered all over her bathroom, he was not fazed.

"How can you be so calm about this?" Elena asked. "I just told you I'm a flat out murderer who doesn't know when she will kill next. You should be calling the cops. You should be getting the hell out of here, but no. Here you are, there."

Damon peered his blue eyes at her. "Do you want me to call the cops?"

_NO!, _she screamed inwardly. Of course she didn't want that even though it was the right thing to do.

Slapping her forehead, she shook her head in fury. "I don't know what's wrong with me." She uttered for only her to hear.

"I think I might, but I would like to run some tests. I would like to talk to you more." Damon suggested.

"Tests? Talk?" Her voice was high pitched. "What am I some patient now?"

"Would you like to be?"

"What?" Elena bellowed couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I think I mentioned back on our not-so first date that I'm a psychiatrist. I help people with their problems, mental disabilities, so forth." He explained as his voice reminded her of running water, steady and flowing. "I want to help you, Elena."

"Help me?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Call me crazy, but yes." He replied.

Maybe Damon was sick and twisted in his own ways wanting to help out after he already knew she was a threat. She had a funny feeling if she had gone to any other doctor and admitted what she had done, she would be in the slammer, but not Damon. He was an odd personality. She cocked her head to the side and examined him, trying to read him. All she got was a blank slate. He would be a hard shell to crack considering his strong façade he portrayed when going into work mode. However, she swore she saw his weakness. This was her dark side working with her.

"And if you can't?" Elena barked.

"Then I can't." Damon shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not God. I can't help every person that walks through my door, but I like to think I can. It's what I do."

"What if you can't? Will you turn me in?" She asked with worry.

He smirked. "Not if you don't kill me first." She saw a glimmer in his eye.

The remark was meant to be lighthearted in this tense moment and she felt one side of her mouth curl up. It was too soon to be joking about something that was very serious, however, the fact that he wasn't running and he wasn't scared made it all the more interesting.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry for such a long wait on this chapter. Lots of distractions have been keeping me from writing in general. I'll try to update more since Black Out has a following now. I will be absent from here and my other social media since I'll be on vacation for two weeks as of Saturday. Hopefully I can crank out another chapter before I leave since I want to keep this story flowing. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and the story. Please leave me a review. **

**Chapter 7.**

* * *

_Monday April 7__th__ 2:45 p.m._

Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale.

Elena with her eyes shut focused on her consistent breathing pattern courtesy of Damon, the friendly and very trusting psychiatrist. Now she was no longer alone in this struggle. Amongst her nightmare she found ease, but not a whole lot of it. She was still skeptical of Damon knowing her secrets and being exposed to the darkest of them all, however, something clicked with him. Comfort crept into her core and her heart did not rage against her breast cage when speaking of her terrorizing manner.

Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale.

Peering at her watch, it was quarter to 3:00 p.m. She was meeting Damon in the park, a public place so she could not drift away into the black land of mischief. Being in public surround by innocent souls made her hopeful that her alter ego was tucked safely away for the time being. It would be foolish to snap out of character and bring attention upon that part of her. Without knowing the intentions or willingness to risk exposure, Elena nervously sat on edge wondering how her other half worked.

_Breathe. Just breathe. _She pounded the reminder into her skull. It was the only way she could remain calm and collected.

Glancing at her watch once more, only a few minutes had passed. Despite the time, she contemplated their meeting. What if Damon decided her episodes and state of mind was too much to handle? What if he wasn't at all keeping to his promise to help and instead was ratting her out to the law? What if, what if, what if. Her confidence was lacking and her hope was diminishing by the second.

"Elena." His voice flowed through the air from the nearby street. He was holding two white cups of coffee in his hand and was walking in a perfect stride toward her. The tension in her shoulders dropped at the sight of him. "Glad to see you sitting here."

"I told you I come." She replied.

"I was afraid…" Damon's sentence trailed as he discontinued his thought and puckered his lips together.

"You were afraid I be a no show." Elena sighed. "I guess I was afraid of that too."

The cup of coffee he handed to her was warm and she smelled the aroma of bliss.

"Hope you don't mind, but I bought you tea. Chamomile tea that is." He informed her and took a seat on the bench opposite of where she sat. "It will help you relax. I sense you haven't done a lot of that lately."

"Is that the doctor side of you saying that or is it that obvious?" She said raising the cup to her mouth and taking a sip. It was hot and the tip of her tongue tingled as her taste buds singed from the heat.

"Both." He admitted.

The stress of the unknown and disturbed sleep patterns was wearing on her. Elena could feel herself dragging as each day passed and with each day it became worse. The need to kill was growing closer. She felt it inside of her even as she tried to suppress it and forget of ever imagining it in the first place. But Elena could not control her dark side. It was a part of her. Discovering and accepting her malicious self had brought upon confliction emotionally and mentally. It was like her dark side was tempting its way up to the surface permanently. It frightened her to think that it was even possible.

"So doctor, what do you suggest I do?" Elena teased trying to break the tension once again.

"Please, I insist you don't treat any of this as a session." Damon responded. "View this as a friend trying to help another friend out."

"Who happens to have his Ph.D. in psychiatrics?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Yes, but I do consider myself a friend of yours. I do want to help you, Elena. I offer my friendship and my knowledge of your situation openly." He smiled.

It was hard to understand his reason to care at all about someone he barely knew. She was crazy beyond belief and here he was ready to solve the puzzle that had one too many pieces missing.

"What?" He asked.

"Don't you deal with enough insane people? Don't you get tired of always helping others?" She stated. "No offense, but I was a blind date gone bad. I've done nothing to impress you, yet you continue to speak to me. And now you know everything there is to know about my screwed up life and here you are offering me friendship and help."

"It's what I do." Damon smirked and sipped his drink.

"You're positive you want to do this?" Elena questioned him.

"Positive." He flashed his smile again.

Not being sure what it was, but his smile did something to her. The bad, intruding feelings were pushed aside. She felt giddy and at ease when he was grinning her way. Damon was very attractive and maybe it had to do something with that, but she liked this feeling and was glad he was being so kind to her. It was a change from her now everyday torture of emotional ups and downs.

"This is strictly friends though." His tone turned serious again. "As much as I am attracted to you, I don't want anything to get in the way of me helping you. I hope that's okay."

"I'm fine with it." Elena quickly agreed. An attraction was present, but she knew better than to cross that line. She needed the help. She needed a friend through all of this and Damon was offering it. She would be stupid to mess that up. "I mean I don't know what my alter ego might say to that though…"

"If she isn't, I'll deal with it." He leaned forward.

Her unusual remarks and obvious unstable state did not bother him. Damon was quick to joke with her about the situation. It made it all the better to know he was willing to do this.

"Okay, lets do this then." Elena sighed and drank her tea.

"Have you focused on breathing like I taught you?" He asked.

"Yes."

His body shifted so he was fully facing her. Elena glanced sideways at him. "Close your eyes." Damon requested. "I just want you to relax."

With it being the middle of the afternoon and a nice day, Elena was aware of wandering eyes. She was scared of his attempts to mellow her out and talk about her issues with people around, but this location was prime. Inside closed walls and secluded from everyone could be dangerous to herself and Damon. She tried not to fret.

"Keep your eyes closed. What do you remember from the night you found the blood in the bathroom?" Damon asked calmly.

Elena cringed at his choice of words. She wanted to pry one eye open to make sure no one heard, but she was desperate to remain on track. His voice was low and she knew Damon wouldn't sabotage their time together by blabbering the horror of what she had done to everyone.

"Um…" She tried to remember, as all she envisioned was blackness.

Inhale…exhale…

The memory flooded back as she recalled out loud waking in a cold sweat confused about what had just happened. Her diary was filling with words of worry and terror. The image of splattered blood surfacing her entire bathroom made her ill and wanting to hurl again. Then something rendered that she had not remembered from that night before.

Scattered flashes of her dancing around a dark figure had been the only recollection she had obtained from her blacked out session. Now, it was becoming clearer. The woods were tall and thick with Mother Nature's lushest of trees. A small house just a few feet away from the river sat peacefully in the night. The full moon lingered high in the sky taunting her as she waited patiently as a shadow amongst the trees. In the window of the house, the light flickered off and she moved forward. Then it went blank again.

"I'm sorry." Elena confessed shaking her head.

"No, this is good." Damon's voice filtered in. "Keep focusing. Keep breathing steadily."

"I don't know." She whined.

"Elena, having you in this relaxed state is helping you focus on your memory." He said to her like a gust of wind blowing gently on a summer's day. "You're doing great."

Doubting herself came easy, but having the reassurance from Damon pushed her forward. Elena inhaled a long breath of fresh air and released it as she tried to focus back on the new discoveries of her night. As she regained clarity, all she saw was black. She kept quiet as she tried to focus and recall the memories hoping to trigger more, but nothing was coming. Frustration grew steadily.

Then like a firecracker bursting, she felt it. She felt the adrenaline, the urge to dance with the devil. Her body tensed and she was paralyzed. It had shut down, but not her brain. It was messing with her. It was fighting her to flip. Her dark side had found a way through the cracks.

Complete and utter darkness surrounded her. She couldn't find a way out, yet she felt light on the other side. Her lips were moving and so were her limbs. Her heart was beating to a different rhythm and yet she felt like she had no control. Trapped in cage without anyway of getting out, Elena struggled against herself. She had no idea what was happening. Her breathing and focus was the last she remembered before she felt herself slip away into another realm. This experience was a first. She had never guessed that anything like this was possible. Every day she was surprising herself with her capabilities and not in a good way.

It could have been seconds, minutes, or even an hour before she felt herself floating back to the top. Time was not a factor in her trapped state. It was nothing. But as she saw the light behind her closed eyes, she opened them feeling her chest heaving. Her hands were in her lap and her legs were curled up under her. She was cozy on the bench with her cup of Chamomile tea set down on the ground.

"Elena?" Damon said her name with question.

"Yes." She answered.

He let out a sigh of relief.

"What happened?" She asked.

"You don't recall anything that happened for the past 15 minutes?" Damon inquired.

"No." Her voice was low and her breathing was shaky, not steady.

"Well, needless to say I think you made a breakthrough today." His tone suggested wary.

"Right." Elena replied trying to understand. It was like she awoken from a deep sleep and trying to grasp reality again. "I'm sorry. Did I pass out on you? It must have been the tea and the breathing and…"

"The combination of those, yes, you drifted away." Damon informed her. "However, my help may have triggered more than just memories like I hoped."

"What do you mean?" She asked innocently.

Clearing his throat, Damon was silent for a while before he spoke. When he did, she wished she hadn't asked anything at all. "You were not you. If I would have known the relaxing tea and you easing into a breathing pattern designed for relaxation would cause you to sleep, I would have approached this differently." He explained.

"You see I wanted to get to know this other side of you, but with time." He paused. His eyes blazed a bright intense blue as he stared at her. "Katherine, as you like to call yourself, this other side of you was very eager to meet me. I trigged her instead of the memories."

"Whatttt?" Her voice trembled.

"I don't know how it happened honestly. She just surfaced. She called herself Katherine." Damon spoke diligently. "This is common in a case like yours, to identify your alternate personality by another name."

"Oh my god." Elena exhaled. Her heart was ready to fly out of her chest. How could this happen? Her eyes examined him for any cut, bruise, or sign of hurt. "Did I, she hurt you?"

"No. No." He shook his head. "Katherine didn't hurt me."

"Then what happened?" Elena felt tears forming quickly.

"She wanted to meet me. She understands what is going on when you're in control somehow." Damon informed her of what he learned. "She is quite fond of me actually. She told me that she respects what I'm doing for you and for her."

"What does that even mean?" She cried.

"I don't know." He replied. "I don't know. There is a layer of mystery to her. But with the little time I had with her, she told me what happened that night. She said she doesn't want you to remember. You're not ready. But you will be soon. You know exactly who is next. Elena, who is next?"

"Next?" Elena simply repeated his word. Her mind was having a hard time grasping the news of what had happened while she was away.

Damon shifted back from her. His face went pale and worry filled his round eyes.

"Elena, I think you're going to kill again."


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: With my two week hiatus approaching due to vacation time, I want to get at least one more (maybe two) chapters up before I leave. I haven't updated this story in a believe three weeks and now I am on a roll. Chapter 7 was posted not too long ago and I'm just in the zone. Hope you guys are enjoying the story. Elena's dark side, Katherine will be making appearance a lot more very soon. Things are about to get way more crazy. Please leave me a review and thanks for reading.**

**Chapter 8.**

* * *

_Monday April 7__th__ 7:00 p.m._

Paranoia crawled on her skin and soaked into her brain. Ever since her meeting with Damon at the park, Elena had been a nervous wreck trying to understand how she could possibly slip in and out of consciousness. Not to mention she was going to kill again.

Her other side, Katherine, that's what she called herself was plotting her next move and yet she had no way of stopping her. Dark and demented, her split personality was much stronger than the one she had known all her life. The ability to lie just below the surface to understand Elena's actions and emotions made her itch. She was battling herself and she didn't know how to rid the evil that lied within.

Running her hand through her messy hair, Elena sat in the middle of her bed. She had returned home after their meeting seeing as she was breaking down mentally and physically. The public could not witness the downward spiral she was enduring. Damon obliged to take her home and give her the privacy she had wished even if he fought her on the subject. She was in no right state of mind to be alone. Fear instilled in the both of them of what she might do when the sun went down and sleep conquered her tired, restless body once more. It was a risk she was going to have to take.

The rectangle thick journal taunted her as she stared at it. She knew she needed to write, but her whole body was shaking furiously. Her words would be nothing more than chicken scratch if she were to empty her thoughts and fears on to paper.

"Elena." The voice of her uncle came from the hallway.

Her body naturally tensed at the sound of any other human within her radius. She didn't know when she would snap. No one was safe, not even herself.

The door to her bedroom creaked open and he peered his head in. "Do you want anything to eat? I'm going to run out and pick up some dinner. Thought you and I could actually eat together for once instead of me blowing you off." He said apologetically.

Elena was crumbling internally, but her walls that built her frame had to be untouched. She faked a smile and said, "Sure."

"Great." Uncle John responded. He hung in the doorway for a moment too long. Elena held her breath. "I saw you out at the park with that guy again, Damon Salvatore." He announced.

"Uncle John…" She began.

"You said you weren't going to see him again." His voice was stern. "I thought we agreed on you seeing guys your own age."

"Damon isn't that much older than I am." Elena complained.

"Elena, you're young. I get it." John sighed. "But you can't let some pretty boy sway you merely on looks. You're still in college and he is a grown man. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

Hurt? If anyone was going to get hurt, it wasn't going to be her. Little did her uncle know she was the master behind terrorizing the town. Breaking hearts was low her list of the sort of pain she knew she could cause. Elena tried not to lash out at her uncle's attempts to dictate her choices.

"Damon and I are just friends." She assured him.

"I've seen the way he looks at you. Whether you want to be friends or not, he wants more than that." John explained. "I know his type. I was just like him at one time."

"We're friends." Elena stated once more.

"I don't know. You two looked quite cozy when I saw you." Her uncle cocked his head to the side and crossing his arms.

What he didn't know was he hadn't seen Elena and Damon together, he had saw Katherine and Damon. If he saw any affection it was on Katherine's doing, not hers. She understood friendship, but Katherine, she didn't know what she had done.

However, the more her uncle spoke about the situation, the more she grew agitated with him. He had no knowledge of their relationship or her situation. But should he? Elena couldn't blab to him her sob story and explain why Damon was hanging around her like he was. If anything were to be known of what she had done or was doing, she was sure her uncle would send her straight to the loony bin.

"I can handle myself." Elena said knowing it was lie.

"Okay." His voice hinted he was not convinced.

Hoping to drop the subject, Elena stared down at the floral pattern on her bedspread. The awkward tension of her uncle's advice was simmering and he quickly shut the door behind him. Dinner with her uncle did not sound pleasurable now knowing he was only going to nag her more about Damon. Who did he think he was trying to tell her what she could and couldn't do? She would respect his house and his rules, but she would not let him dictate her life. He wasn't her father.

The building rage inside her spread like wildfire. Elena knew she was becoming worked up and not on her own terms. Katherine, the evil side of her was dancing dangerously close. She could handle the argument with grace, but Katherine, she was more of a take action type of gal.

It still baffled her to think her dark side had a name, one she had given all on her own. This Katherine seemed more put together than herself. Elena hated to admit he envied that about her. All of this was too strange to comprehend. It was like this other side was a whole another person, living and breathing, when in reality she was closer than she thought. Deep down Katherine lingered and clawed to be free. She was beginning to feel her influencing her feelings and thoughts. How could any of this be happening?

Her hands naturally ran through her hair, tangling themselves in her locks. She tugged as she tried to get a hold of reality, but it was slipping away. She needed to stay awake just long enough until she could see Damon again. Even if Katherine came out to play, she knew she wouldn't hurt him, at least not yet. She wasn't even sure if he was entirely safe or not, but something about him made her feel like she did not have to look over her shoulder every five seconds.

Falling back on her bed, she knew she was taking a chance as her body was tired and her eyes were heavy. The remote to her tiny stereo was sitting on her nightstand and she reached for it. Not caring if her uncle cared about her taste in music or the volume, she turned it on and up. Loud music would be hard to fall asleep to and the sound of the rock ballad was soothing. Elena drummed her fingers on her stomach that began to growl. She hoped dinner would be home soon.

Her heart fluttered like a trapped bird as she became aware the music had changed and was much softer. It was a classic piece rising in tempo and intensity. She could not recall changing the station, not to mention her position. Her body was upright and sitting on the edge of her bed. The journal that was closed before was now open. The blank page was now filled. Elena felt the panic of knowing something terrible had just happened.

She had retreated without warning.

Katherine had been too strong.

Elena's body shook violently as she looked to the clock on her nightstand that read 10 p.m. Three hours had passed without being coherent. The usual time of 4:44 was no longer her witching hour. Any hour was deadly now.

The journal taunted her as she picked it up finally and looked at the neatly written words. In her dark hours, she had written something. It wasn't a long entry, but it was enough to make her squirm.

It read:

_Dear Elena,_

_I don't know why you keep this pathetic journal._ _After reading all your scrambled thoughts, this is nothing more than pure boredom. I did enjoy the guessing games you keep playing with yours truly though. It's fun to think you can't grasp who I am just quite yet, but soon you will know._

_I don't do journals. If I have something to say, I speak my mind. I'm not a coward like you. However, I thought this would be a good way of communicating with you since you can't fully understand my thoughts yet. Like I said soon you will._

_You're a fool to think you can get rid of me._

_I am you. I'm not just a part or personality. I'm the real version of you. All that anger and pent up frustration you like to bury is my essence. You just don't know how to accept it. One day you will and we can become one. I like that very much. It sucks only revealing myself for short periods of time. Although, I must say I had a great time with your friend, the doctor. Damon. He is dreamy. The blue eyes, mmmm, what a catch. And to think you only view him as a friend. You are mistaken. I wish you could have seen the way his jaw dropped as I touched his hair and spoke to him about you and myself on that bench. And I thought I was bad. You're nothing more than a tease to him. _

_I'm sure you're just ripping at the seams now with my little entry. Good. Embrace the anger, Elena. Once you do, there is no turning back. We will chat again soon._

_Sincerely and forever, _

_Katherine_

_P.S. You're welcome._

Slamming the journal shut, Elena rose to her feet. She turned off the music and listened. It was too quiet. Something told her horror lurked ahead. Not taking another moment to debate her existence, Elena was out of her room and down the stairs. "Uncle John." She called out his name. Nothing. She prayed the silence was due to his absence and not something else. However, she wouldn't know for sure unless she dug deeper. And so she walked slowly into the kitchen.

Plates were set out on the table. Containers of Chinese cuisine were unopened. A foot stuck out from behind the island and her loud gasp filled the room. Elena rushed over to find her uncle lying on the ground with a knife protruding from his chest. His eyes were wide and staring up with fear. His mouth hung open as if he were once screaming for mercy. The tears gushed from her eyes and she hovered over his lifeless body and saw the blood splatter.

"No….no!" She cried. "Uncle John, no. Please wake up."

It was no use. No matter how hard she shook him or said his name he did not budge. John was dead.

Elena let out a blood-curdling cry as she grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. Hours before he was alive and well. Their last conversation had ended on a sour note. This was all her fault. Her strength to fight off her dark temptations wasn't enough. Katherine had slithered her way to the surface and she knew exactly what purpose she served while she was awake. Elena fought with words and hostile looks. Katherine wasn't about to let anyone order her around. She had gone to the extreme.

The sense of Katherine's long gone emotions settled subtly inside. She could feel the hatred she had for her uncle. She sensed the desire to rid of a threat in her life. As much as Elena enjoyed Damon, Katherine enjoyed him more. With John's disapproving words and clear statements of wanting Damon gone from her life, she knew by removing John from the equation would only bring pleasure on her dark soul. Elena heaved with sobbing as she pushed away the unwanted feelings Katherine carried along with her.

The murder weapon still was clear as day and Elena sniffled and wiped away her tears. Her first murder had been planned and carefully erased of any traces pointing to her. This time she wasn't so sure she could get away. With the ongoing investigation of her first victim, releasing the information about John would only bring more worry and suspicion to the town. Someone was out for blood…and it was she.

Distraught and panicked, Elena tried to figure out how she could dispose of the knife without making herself look like the obvious suspect. The knife could never be found, but where do you hide something that no one will ever look?

She needed help. And the only person who could do that right now, who she trusted, was Damon.

Trembling with every move and hating to leave her uncle lifeless on the floor, she ran to her bedroom and grabbed the phone. She quickly dialed Damon's number and waited for him to pick up. Her eyes fell down upon the opened journal. _You're welcome, _caught her attention once more. Katherine had thought she was doing both of them of favor. It all made sense.

"Hello." Damon answered.

Elena quivered and drew in a shaky breath. "You were right. I killed someone."


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: This story has been long overdue for an update. I really apologize for not updating it sooner. I had to go back and read the last chapter to find a feel for this one and I hope it turned out okay. The chapter following this one will be quite interesting or at least its how I plan for it to be. Thanks for reading as always and make sure to leave a review. **

**Chapter 9.**

* * *

_Monday April 7__th__ 10:10 p.m._

The phone dropped from her hand as she tried to regain any stability left within her, but there was none. Her uncle was dead and on her kitchen floor. All signs pointed that she was the culprit, the murderer to his deceased soul. She didn't know how she was going to explain this one or hide the truth of the matter. How could her alter ego, Katherine have been so careful last time and this time being so carefree? None of it made sense. Nothing actually made sense anymore. Elena was sure she was losing all grip with reality. Her only hope was Damon.

Maybe a minute or only seconds had passed since she confessed her sin over the phone. It didn't take much more for Damon to hang up and let her know he was on her way. She couldn't bear to face her dead uncle again without Damon, but the thought of having someone else witness the horror made her even more frightful.

Elena paced her room ringing her hands together as she tried to solve the puzzle and fit the pieces together. Time was getting short and she knew she needed to figure out a way to explain the death to others and how to rid of the knife that had killed him. If Katherine assumed she was ready to do a bit of mischievous planning and problem solving on her own already she was seriously mistaken.

"I'm screwed." Elena said out loud.

No one but her was home to speak to, expect her Uncle John, who could no longer respond.

"What do I do?" She panicked.

What was there to do? She had no idea how to handle a situation like this. Why was she being put in this situation? For the first time she contemplated something horrible. Realizing what that was, she rushed to the bathroom conjoining to her room. She needed to splash some cold water on her face before her head went too deep into dark thoughts powered by Katherine.

Her hand found the switch and immediately her chest constricted and her mouth fell open. Still stained from the first victim more blood scattered her bathroom space. It was redder and the white walls were hard to make out. The smell made her want to throw up and what terrified her most was the message written on the mirror in blood.

Taking small, careful steps Elena walked into the dead center of her bathroom and turned to find the bloody message written in large capital letters, KILLER. Shattered gasps escaped her and new tears formed in her eyes as she stared at the awful image. With no blood on her hands she knew she had written the message once. Katherine had made sure to clean up after, but only herself and Elena. Everything else was left uncertain and messy. Not sure if she could move another muscle, she closed her eyes and tried to block out everything. Maybe she was still dreaming. Maybe none of this was happening, but when she reopened her eyes and found nothing had changed it only made her feel worse. Quickly, her body was tumbling to the ground. The floor was slippery and blood now stained every inch of her, skin and clothes.

"No. No. No." She cried in a small voice as she examined herself.

A panic attack was ensuing.

Elena must have left herself there in the mess and blood for however long it took until Damon arrived. "Elena!" A voice from downstairs called out. He had let himself in without warning or question. She didn't care. She didn't care about anything. This time she was done. Her life was over as she saw it.

"Elena?" Damon's voice sounded more concerned this time still a story below.

She wanted to call out. She wanted to have hope with him not far away, but she couldn't find it. The dark hole she had dug for herself was not burying her alive.

"Elena." Damon called out once more as she heard his footsteps come up the staircase. He was slow with approaching, but he knew exactly where to find her. Her tired and defeated eyes found him standing in the doorway of the bathroom looking utterly mortified with what he saw. "Elena?"

Leaning up against the dirty wall feeling lifeless, she stared at him. "I'm a monster." She mumbled. That's all she could think of or say with the little energy she consumed. Damon stepped into the bathroom figuring out how to dodge the blood, but realizing it was no use. Evidence was now caked on to the bottom of his shoes.

"I'm going to help you, Elena." He stated.

"Help me." She whispered. "You're too late."

How in the world was he going to help her? He was a doctor, not a mastermind in murders. She never should have dragged him into any of this. Why did he have to walk into the bar that night instead of the guy she was supposed to meet? If it hadn't been him he would have at least been long gone by now, but not Damon. He was so intrigued and determined to help her. It was almost disturbing he was willing to deal with her when he knew he was no safer than anyone else in the town. Elena fluttered her eyes upon him again.

"What's happening to me?" Her voice was tiny. She held her hands up to see the hold covering them.

"I don't know." Damon said crouching down. "But we're going to find out."

"How?" She asked.

Damon licked his lips and looked around at the bathroom. It was a sight to see. His first reaction to the bloody bathroom was priceless and what should have put her behind bars. However, Damon hadn't told a soul about her condition. He had kept it to himself. Now, for the second time the bathroom was worse. She knew his reaction at first was due to her being subdued into the mess. As the little time passed it did not seem to faze him at all. Instead he seemed to be in deep thought, probably deciphering how to explain it too.

"Lets not think long term. Lets thing short term." Damon spoke slowly. "Who did you kill?"

"My uncle." Elena could barely get out before whimpering again.

"Where's you uncle?" He asked.

"Downstairs in the kitchen." She told him. "Dead. I killed him. I killed him."

Remaining in his crouched position, Damon pushed his hand up and down mid air. "Shhh. Focus Elena." He tried to keep her from losing it. "What did you kill him with?" He asked trying to gather up information.

"A knife, I guess. It's what I saw." She sniffled.

"Okay…" He nodded his head.

Elena watched him as he went silent and scanned his eyes over the disaster. How any person walking in on a situation like this being as calm as he was had to be somewhat insane too. No way was anyone prepared to deal with intensity of what her life had become.

"Do you have family or friends close to him? You know people that would speak to him on a regular basis?" Damon inquired.

"Um," Elena thought. "Not really besides his girlfriend. I don't know."

"Okay." He stated again and a long pause followed. When he spoke again, she listened carefully and felt herself become more alert. "Your uncle was battling internal issues. He has been for a while. You found him in the kitchen just the way you did, remember?" He tried to engage her. Elena nodded. "No one else did this because your uncle committed suicide."

"What?" She remarked sitting up more.

"It's a story we are going to have to come up with Elena." Damon instilled the idea into her. "Do you want to admit to what you did and end up behind bars eventually going permanently insane? Or do you want help because I can offer that, but I can't do that with you locked up. This is the best I can come up with, but I need your assistance on this."

It seemed wrong. It seemed really wrong to lie about any of this. She knew what she had done, sort of. She knew she was guilty, but she didn't want to go to jail. Maybe she could declare clinically insane if anything where to happen, but would others really believe she was. Not everyone gets the outcome or results they hope for. Elena knew better than to play with the law.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked.

Damon sighed. "Honestly, I keep asking myself that question." He answered. "But I just feel like it's my destiny to help you one way or another."

"Damon, I'm a monster." Elena said with more belief in her voice. "I don't know what I'll do to you or _she _will do to you if you stick around. I don't want you to end up like the rest of them."

"I don't care." He replied. "What I care about is figuring out why you are doing these things and how you can control it."

"Why so you can write a book about me one day?" She was half kidding, half being serious.

"Maybe." Damon played along. "But right now, I'm serious when I mean I want to help. I'll do whatever it takes Elena. I promise you I'll get you through this."

That was a hard thing to promise. Damon, neither she, knew what she was up against really or what the future held for her next killing spree. It was dangerous. A big fat caution sign should have been plastered to her forehead to avoid any further interaction with human life, but was there any use trying to avoid what would happen either way?

"Suicide?" Elena confirmed the faux story. "And you're sure the police will buy it?"

"I don't know." Damon honestly answered. "But it's worth a shot. I have a few friends in the force that could handle the case. It would keep less suspicion and I could try my best to talk them into believing it was."

"Are you sure you aren't insane?" She questioned his state of mind.

"I know it sounds crazy, but it's worth a shot." Damon sighed again.

Crazy was putting it politely. This was going to turn out bad, so bad that if either of them got caught lying it wouldn't be just her headed for the slammer, Damon would be coming with her. However, he knew what he was getting himself into and if he was willing to risk his life than so be it.

"Stick to the story and I'll do all the messy work, okay?" He tried convincing her.

Elena nodded her head and found the strength to stand up. She was in way over her head and she knew the first step to this whole false story was cleaning up what she was surrounded by: blood. With so much of it dried up on to the surfaces it was going to take all night to clean it up and not to mention a ton of bleach. With little time to report her uncle, they needed to be quick though. If they wanted to make it sound believable than she needed for it to happen sooner rather than later.

After five hours and five bottles of bleach later, Elena was exhausted. The smell was strong and she was afraid that the aroma of her bathroom could be sensed throughout the entire house. The last thing she wanted was for the police to come in to examine the scene and smell the obvious that she had been cleaning up after herself. With open windows, the smell began to fade though. It was going on 4 a.m. and the sun would soon be rising. They were running out of time before it would be too suspicious of her uncle's deceasing body not to be found already.

"Let's give it another hour and then I'll call." Damon said throwing the stuff in to a large garbage bag. The bathroom was spotless. Not a single drop of blood could be seen on the surface. "I'll go drop this off and then come back and we'll wait until five. By then the smell should be less strong and we can face this together."

"Damon." Elena grabbed his wrist. "Thank you, for all of this. I don't know what I do without you."

He smiled and patted her hand with his free one. "I know," was all he could respond with.

Elena could feel Katherine stirring up inside by her physical contact with Damon. She loved being close and personal with him. Her gesture was out of mere respect and gratitude. With effort, she suppressed her inner darkness and found herself stable again.

"When I call we will have to give reason to why I was here." Damon told her. "You know relationship?"

"Oh," she replied.

"We can stick to friendship since that's what we are." He assured her.

"Friends, of course." Elena agreed.

"Okay then we are the on same page." Damon smiled weakly.

She wasn't oblivious to the signs of Damon's crush on her. It was there the moment they met and it was till present. However, a romantic relationship was never going to happen as long as she was in charge. Katherine was a different story. Elena wondered with Katherine's surprise appearance at the park and after knowing what she had wrote in her journal if Damon wasn't a little intrigued by the seductive nature Katherine obtained when she was around him. It was silly, but she couldn't help but think it made him think that she would do the same. The truth was she wasn't attracted to him in that way. Not now. Maybe if she wasn't having a mental breakdown every five seconds she let herself actually get romantic with someone, but right now it was stupid.

Withdrawing her hand from his wrist, she became silent. She walked over to her bed and sat. The thought of Damon leaving for even a short period of time made her scared. What if Katherine fought through and did something else? What if she made another mess? But she had to let him go. The evidence could not be around when the time would go to finally declare her uncle's death.

"I'll only be a few minutes." He insisted.

"Damon." Elena said his name as if he was miles away.

"Yes?" He asked.

"How are you going to help me?" She questioned him. "Is it even possible to help me when I'm already over the edge?"

He took a step closer to her. "Everyone can be helped. It's never too late." Damon said.

Maybe he was right and maybe he was wrong. Sooner or later she would find out if she could actually be helped or even saved for that matter. Time would only tell.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: To start off, this chapter was creepy to write. It is slightly graphic so I apologize ahead of time. After reading you will understand when I say things will become more twisted and interesting for Elena. Hope you guys enjoyed this update. I'll try to get another one up soon. Life is just a distraction so that's why I'm slow at updating. Please leave a review. Tell me what you thought. **

**Chapter 10.**

* * *

_Tuesday April 8__th__ 6 a.m._

Stained cheeks and puffy eyes, Elena held a wad of tissues in her hand. Damon's arm was around her as she sniffled and watched her uncle be taken away in a body bag. Their story had been convincing enough, at least for now. Her house was swarming with police officers. Elena had rehearsed the planned out explanation of what happened in her head a few times before it had to actually be spoken. Like a well played out cue the tears were instant and the emotions were real. She was devastated to lose her uncle and it did not take much acting to make it believable that she was truly disturbed of his passing. The only thing she had to keep on track was her alibi and what she believed had happened.

"Real sorry to hear about your uncle again." An officer approached her one final time. "Met your uncle a few times while I was out. I guess you never truly know someone until things like this happen."

"Yeah." She mumbled giving a small sad smile and wiping away a tear.

The presence of the law needed to vanish. Being able to tell a lie may be simple, but continuing to live out that lie was easier said than done. Elena was scared she would break at any moment and she didn't want anyone around to witness that. The only person she trusted right now was Damon and even he was putting himself in a horrible position. Would he survive? She couldn't afford to think that way. Right now she needed to focus on finding some sort of stability and resistance against her alter ego.

"Thanks again. I'll walk you guys out." Damon announced to the remaining officers inside her house. He bowed his head and walked behind them. "I'll keep an eye on her." His voice trailed off.

Alone and on the verge of losing all control Elena wrapped her arms around her body. The insecurity of flipping the switch at any moment was beyond terrifying. The scent of bleach still filled her nose from cleaning up the bloody mess upstairs. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to rid of it and its awful reminder of what she did. This overwhelming and drowning feeling was making her lose all grips with reality.

The only thing she was sure of now was that she was murderer.

Elena slowly fell to the couch as she stared off into the distance letting the numbing effect take hold of her. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel. She didn't want to exist. Her evil side had hit close to home and she didn't know how much more badly it could get.

"Elena?" His voice broke her mindless trance.

Her eyes flickered up to him as he hovered and then sat on the coffee table in front of her. His forehead wrinkled into concern while his eyes glued to her permanently. Damon was quiet for a moment as he let the silence embrace them both. She felt the urge to cry again, but it was halted abruptly. It could only mean her other emotions; the ones she couldn't control were overriding her pain and sorrow.

"You did good." Damon said flatly.

"For how long though." Elena spoke with exhaustion. "How many more times am I going to have to lie before they figure it out? I can't keep doing this."

"I know." He responded.

"I'm tired. I'm exhausted." She breathed. "But most of all, I feel like giving up."

"No," he snapped. His hand reached out for hers. Physical contact was a strange sort for them. She knew Katherine, wherever she was hiding and lingering was probably enjoying it. "You can't give up, Elena."

"Clearly I'm not getting any better. I've killed two people, Damon." Elena sighed. "You really should just leave and get out while you still can. I'm happy you want to help, but you have no idea what you are getting yourself in to. I don't even know what I'm getting myself into."

The unknown surrounded her. More questions were building up each day. More uncertainty of what she would do next and when was lingering. Time would only tell. Elena pulled her hand away from him and tucked it under her other arm. All she wanted was a tight little bubble she could live in without hurting anyone else and herself.

"I'm not leaving you." Damon stated.

"Well you're stupid not to." She rolled her eyes.

"Maybe." He whispered. "But I'll never know if I don't try. Please don't give up. I really think I can help you."

"How? How can you help me when I don't even have any answers for you?" Elena snapped. "I'm just as lost in this as you are. I don't know anything or why I'm doing any of this."

Damon inhaled deeply as he glanced down at the floor. He folded his hands together and leaned forward. Conflicted by his decision, Elena wished he would leave, but at the same time she was happy he was so willing to stay. Having him was not only comforting, but she knew Katherine glowed with praise seeing how dedicated he was to solving the puzzle that seemed to have so many pieces missing.

"I want to try hypnosis." Damon informed her.

"Hypnosis?" She repeated not being keen on the idea.

"By doing it, it will allow you to go deeper into your thoughts and memories." He said licking his lips. The doctor side was shining through gloriously. This was what he did. "You might be able to remember things you can't now. You might be able to remember killing that man and your uncle."

Did she want to remember? That was the question. She wanted to understand, but the thought of actually remembering something so horrible made her wary.

"I don't know." Elena shook her head.

"All you have to do is listen to the sound of my voice. I'll guide you through it. I promise you will be fine and you will be safe." Damon assured her. "I'll bring you out of it if I notice anything is wrong. Okay?"

Still hesitant toward the idea, she nodded. What else did she have to lose?

"Lie down." He directed her.

Easing herself on the couch, she let her head rest on the pillow. Her hands rested on her stomach, as she felt silly letting herself succumb to this sort of nonsense. She didn't believe hypnosis was real. People who went under such thing were only acting. How was it possible that a mere person could control her by just the sound and ease of their voice? It was a loaded question. Out of everything she had been a part of she knew she should understand the ability of being controlled by someone else even when it's you.

"I want you to close you eyes, Elena." Damon said in a tone she had not heard from him before. "Before we begin I need to ask you one question. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she answered.

"Then we will begin." He replied and shuffled. Her head was so clouded she knew this attempt was going to fail miserably, but she went along with it anyways. "Keep your eyes shut. Listen to my voice and nothing else. Let your body completely relax."

Inwardly rolling her eyes, she humored him. Taking deep breaths and focusing on his voice, she did feel her body relieve some tension, but not enough to make a drastic change.

"Feel every muscle in your body ease. Feel yourself molding into the couch. Feel yourself forgetting any worry and focusing only on my voice." Damon spoke gently. "Your feet, your legs, your chest, your arms, your shoulders, even your face. Let go of any tension and relax."

With the amount of exhaustion warping her body, it was easy to relax. The paranoia was never far though and that's what kept her from truly letting her fall into his trance. She squirmed it a bit.

"Elena, please. Do as I say." He instructed.

Guessing her movements indicated her resistance to his hypnosis, she tried once more. She thought about what he said and letting go of everything she held on to. It wasn't easy. It was like ripping a layer of her skin off slowly and torturously, but she was managing to relax.

"Feel your body letting go. You feel it don't you?" Damon asked rhetorically. "Good. Keep letting every part of your body ease further and further until you feel at peace."

Another layer was fading away. Elena focused hard on his voice and let her body mold into the couch. She hadn't felt like this in ages. How was he doing it? Was he really motivating her mentally and physically to relax? She tried not to drift away too much. What was occurring was actually working and she trusted him.

"Continue to listen to my voice and nothing else. Let it fill your ears and your head. Let it keep you in this state of mind." Damon's voice almost dropped to a whisper. "I'm going to count backwards from three. When I reach one you will go into a deep sleep. You will still hear my voice and you will obey to it. You will be safe. Nothing can hurt you."

Giving all her trust and faith into his promise and speech, she was ready to embark into this so-called deep sleep she was about to endure. It was now or never.

"Three, two, one." Damon counted.

At first she didn't feel any different. Still relaxed and lying down, she was ready to sit back up and say to hell with this whole scheme, but then something triggered. Her body felt weightless. Her eyes lids were no longer shading her eyes from natural light. It was like she was awake in her living room, but not at the same time. The best way to describe it was like a dream.

"Elena, where are you?" Damon asked.

"My living room." She flatly stated.

"What do you see in your living room?" He asked again.

Elena felt like it was a stupid question. She looked around and saw all the normalcies of her living room, the couch, the TV set, the rug. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. As she tried to look harder she noticed something. Outside the window the sky was dark. It was nighttime, yet she knew before it was light out. It was the early morning hours when she last looked outside. Now, it was as black as night.

"It's nighttime." She told him.

"Good. Tell me more." Damon pushed her.

Her body twirled as she looked around for more clues. She felt in control, but something was off. It was like her brain was sending mixed signals to her body as it moved. Her legs were taking her away from the window and toward the hallway. A mirror that hung above the small table reflected her image. She smiled with a pout and bounced her hair in her hands.

"I see myself in a mirror." Elena expressed. "But it doesn't look like me."

Puzzled by her twin image, she stepped back. She began to notice her strides were different. She walked with a purpose and she was always glancing back and forth as if someone were watching. Elena felt her body being guided to the front door. She was beginning to realize she was seeing through the eyes of not herself, but of Katherine.

"I'm Katherine." She blurted out.

"And what is Katherine doing?" Damon pursued her thoughts further.

"I'm leaving my house. I'm getting into my car." Elena gave him a play by play. "I'm heading toward the woods. It's so dark though. I put the car in park just on the outskirts of the woods. I'm leaving the car and walking into them now."

Her body continued to wind through the tall trees as she aimlessly walked. She did this for a while until up ahead she saw a small light from a cabin glowing in the night. Moving toward it, she felt her cheeks rise, as she appeared to be smiling. Elena or Katherine seemed to be pleased by what was going on. She could feel the radiating excitement within her. She was feeling what Katherine felt. It was all so strange.

"Elena, where are you?" Damon asked.

"I'm outside a cabin. I see someone moving inside of it. I think they are looking at the window. I think they are looking at me." She told him. What she should have felt was fright, but she didn't. She was calm as she continued to linger outside the cabin.

Elena felt something rising in her chest. It was adrenaline. "Whoever is inside is coming out. They are angry. They are shouting something, but I don't know what." She tried to focus harder. The figure was dark, but nearing closer. "It's…it's him. It's the man."

"What man?" He insisted.

"Co-co-Conner. The man on the news." Elena said with fear. "He's coming at me, but I'm not running. I should be, but I'm not. I'm just standing there. And…"

Under the moonlight, his face illuminated. He looked furious. Elena reached into her pocket and dug something out. It was sharp and thin. As she glanced down quickly she flicked the blade in her hand and then sent her arm slashing upward. The man before her made an awful noise. He sounded like he was choking. His eyes were big and white as he fell to the ground. Soon she realized she was the one causing such distress. When her arm went up she had slit his throat. He was gushing blood. It was everywhere. She knelt down next to him and whipped the blade down his throat some more. More blood came. Her sharp knife stabbed him three more times in the abdomen and she smirked every time she withdrew the blade. Her body hovered over him as he gawked at her in his final moments.

"Thanks for the practice." She said in a cold, slick voice. She made sure to repeat this to Damon.

Her body rose and she looked around. The knife was still in her hand and she was covered in blood. Every part of her screamed of horror, yet she didn't flinch at the sight of it. Elena turned on her heel and walked back toward the edge of the woods where she had parked. Things were becoming clearer. She realized this wasn't the first time she had been out here. The way she moved through the trees was deliberate. This wasn't a random act of murder. This had been planned, but why him? Why Conner? She still didn't understand her motive besides for practice as she had said to him.

"Elena focus. Where are you going now?" Damon drew her back in.

"I'm headed home." She informed him.

Sure enough she drove her car home managing to leave her car spotless of any bloodstains. As she returned, she headed up the stairs slowly and toward her room. Her feet dragged behind her as if she were tired. Killing someone had drained her of her energy, of Katherine's energy. She was strong, but not as strong as she liked to be. Her legs pulled her toward her bathroom and she turned on the light. Mindlessly, she stripped herself of her bloody clothes. It was like she was in an exhausted trance. Once she found herself naked, she took the bloody clothes and began to wipe the surfaces with them. It didn't make sense, but that was what she was doing. Everywhere was covered in his blood. The knife she placed in the sink and she let the water run over it. Her eyes met with her reflection again. This time even though she saw herself, she knew for a fact it wasn't her. This was most definitely Katherine.

"Where did you put the knife?" Damon asked.

She should have answered him, but she was being distracted by the mirror image. Katherine tilted her head to the side and smiled. "Hello." She said.

"Elena?" His voice was fading away.

"It's nice to finally meet face to face." Katherine spoke. "We're going to have so much fun."

"Elena? Are you still there?" Damon's voice was a loud whisper.

Katherine puckered her lips together. "Wake up, Elena. It's time play." She said with in a breathless tone.

Her body began to thrash. She knew something wasn't right. All relaxation was gone. She was breaking the trance. She was scared. She wanted to wake up.

"Elena, listen to my voice. I'm going to wake you up, okay?" Damon said in the calmest voice that he could. "Elena, I'm going to count back from three. On one you will wake up."

"Go on Elena. Wake up." Katherine sang. "I'll see you very soon."

"Three, two, one." Damon counted.

Like a bottle rocket, her body flung forward and she felt like she couldn't breath. Her whole body was shaking, as she couldn't believe what she had just witnessed. The night of her first murder was clear as day now. She remembered everything. She had felt everything. She had met Katherine. It was all too much to handle. Elena was in full on panic mode.

"Elena. Elena." He called out to her taking her flailing body into his grasp. "You're all right. You're fine. You're safe. You're awake."

Damon repeated it once more before she finally started to believe him. The sporadic breathing was steadying and she was no longer thrashing as bad. Her hypnosis had turned into a real life nightmare. She didn't want to know these things now that she knew them. The way Katherine enjoyed killing him and how she felt it made her want to be sick. It was terribly wrong what she did or Katherine did or what they did. She wished she could take it all back.

"Focus." Damon requested. "Look at me."

The image of him was blurry, but it came into focus within a few seconds. He was locked in on her. His concern for her was ever so present. Damon worried about her and saw that. His eyes were the windows to his soul. Elena tried to release the unpleasant atmosphere that surrounded her from her hypnosis, but it was difficult to do.

"Breathe. You're going to be fine." He said.

"That was awful." Elena finally declared.

"But now you remember." Damon responded. "Now you know what happened. Now you understand a little better how to control Katherine."

"I guess so." She sighed.

Damon brought his hand to her head and stroked her hair. "Stay here. I'm going to get you some water. I promise no more hypnotizing for a while." He patted her shoulder and got up. Once he was out of the room she squeezed her eyes shut.

What she had just done was more than awful. She didn't want to go through it again, even if he begged her too. Not knowing how she killed someone had seemed a whole lot better than knowing now. From here on out she would be guilty and conscious of what she did.

"Oh please, get over yourself." She heard a voice come from the window.

Elena's head shot up. In the flesh, she saw her. Identical to her appearance, she saw a tall and thin version of her. However, she was much more groomed and fresh than what she appeared to be as she wallowed on the couch. Pushing herself farther on the couch, she stared at what she was seeing

"Surprised?" She cocked her head to the side and stepped closer. "I said I would see you very soon."

How was this possible?

"Oh it's possible. You're a complete Looney Tune so it's very possible that you can see and speak to me." She explained.

"Katherine?" Elena finally blurted out.

"I'm glad we could finally meet." She smirked.

"But…" Elena quivered.

"See I knew exactly what that delicious doctor of yours was doing and I took a chance." Katherine said sitting down next to her. "You being in that trance was best thing that ever happened for us. It freed me."

"How?" Elena asked.

Katherine smirked. "I don't know, but I know now I can come and go as I please." She confirmed her worse fear. "You will be able to hear every thought I have. You will be able to feel every emotion I desire. And the best part is, no one can hear or see me, but you."

In the kitchen she heard the water running. She wished what was going on was a horrible nightmare, but she knew all too well that it wasn't. If she could feel and think everything Katherine was feeling and thinking than it could only mean the same in return. Her mind was already on overdrive of being crazy, now she had just hit her limit.

With a devilish grin and slowly blinking her eyes, Katherine sang, "We're going to have so much fun."


	11. Chapter 11 (Preview)

**Chapter 11 (Preview)**

Scared and nervous Elena sat curled up in a ball on her couch. The footsteps of Damon were nearing as he returned with a glass of water. Half expecting water to be spilled while glass shattered every where, Damon did not flinch as he entered the living room. With Katherine on the arm of the couch he was oblivious to her newfound presence.

"Those blue eyes," Katherine cooed. "How can you not want him?"

"Shh." She silenced her.

"What?" Damon asked stopping dead in his tracks.

Elena realized her gesture toward Katherine was not needed. He couldn't hear or see her. Only the crazy gears inside her head were capable of that. She was drawing concerning attention to her behavior that was already erratic.

* * *

**AN: Full chapter coming soon. Sorry about neglecting to update.**


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